Are you there, God? It’s me, Hermione


Listen, I know the Harry Potter kids are growing up before our eyes, but this is ridiculous. It seems Warner Bros. execs decided to hurry the natural process when they released the IMAX version of the new Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix poster. Take a close look at 17-year-old star Emma Watson‘s, uh, assets in the original and IMAX posters. Either she had one magical growth spurt, or digital breast augmentation has come to Hogwarts.

Apparently adolescence was just moving too slowly for the studio’s marketing department. But after a little Photoshop hocus-pocus, Hermione Granger went from normal to ta-ta da. What was it Scribe Grrrl was saying about the sexualization of the Potter girls? Color me convinced … and grossed out. Say it with me: “Ick.”

In the new poster, not only did Emma get a bigger cup size, but she also got the wind tunnel treatment. Her hair is so wild that poor Neville (Matthew Lewis) is almost obscured by her tresses. Because, as we all know, big bazooms + flowy hair = more ticket sales.

Of course, this isn’t the first time an actress has gotten a little computer-aided cosmetic surgery in the name of bigger, shall we say, box office. Famously flat-chested actress Keira Knightley got some cyber-silicone to promote King Arthur. At the time, Keira was 19 — still awfully young, but at least legal. Once more, with feeling: “Ick.”

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