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Star Sign Real Talk: Super Blunt Lesbian Horoscopes

Your fate is written in the stars. It can be annoying to read astrology descriptions which are painfully ambiguous and could apply to anyone. We’ve decided not to sugar coat what the stars are trying to communicate to you. Scroll down to find your super straight-forward personal horoscope!

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

You’re finally working on the passion project you’ve be aching to start for some time. Although you’re usually a control freak when it comes to trying to perfect how things are done, this time you’re being open-minded. You’re even letting others have a say in how your project should be developed. Although it’s good that you’re allowing feedback from those you respect, you’re letting them dictate your flow way too much in this regard. You need to down-size the opinions you let impact your creation and trust your own instincts. You are the only one who can keep this shit together and make it happen.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

The mad connections you’ve made are finally offering you a bridge to the path of big ballin’. You are on the fence, but this one is totally worth the strides you are required to take in order to achieve makin’ the big bucks. The little voice in your head that questions whether this a good idea or not? Turn on the mute button and remind yourself of the fact that you’re a badass and you’ve got this. Fo’ real. If you don’t explore this possibility, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life — even while you’re on your death bed when you’re back in diapers reflecting on every missed opportunity.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Leo

July 23 – August 22

You’re being a brat about a trip that’s coming up. You really want to be in control of the agenda, but in this scenario someone else is choosing how the leisure time will be spent. Get your head out of your ass and appreciate the people you’re with during this vacation. Whether you end up drinking so much eggnog you confess your deepest darkest secrets, fall face first in the snow at your first attempts to snowboard, or watch the same Disney movie over and over again because your baby cousin decided that this is what everyone in the family is doing — enjoy the moment while it lasts, Leo. It’s not always about you. Especially during this trip.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

You’re finally working on the passion project you’ve be aching to start for some time. Although you’re usually a control freak when it comes to trying to perfect how things are done, this time you’re being open-minded. You’re even letting others have a say in how your project should be developed. Although it’s good that you’re allowing feedback from those you respect, you’re letting them dictate your flow way too much in this regard. You need to down-size the opinions you let impact your creation and trust your own instincts. You are the only one who can keep this shit together and make it happen.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

The mad connections you’ve made are finally offering you a bridge to the path of big ballin’. You are on the fence, but this one is totally worth the strides you are required to take in order to achieve makin’ the big bucks. The little voice in your head that questions whether this a good idea or not? Turn on the mute button and remind yourself of the fact that you’re a badass and you’ve got this. Fo’ real. If you don’t explore this possibility, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life — even while you’re on your death bed when you’re back in diapers reflecting on every missed opportunity.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

You need to reconsider the soul sucking job you’ve succumbed to and let the dream-beast in you fly free. You’ve been putting off following your bliss for way too long. You’re terrified. We know, Cancer. We know. You have bills to pay. Yada, yada, yada. The artist in you is dying to burst from the seams. So if you don’t confront your desires, eating Cheetos in bed while crying on yourself as you swipe through Pinterest is inevitable. Make it a side hobby at first, if you must, but eventually you need to let your creative juices flow.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

You’re being a brat about a trip that’s coming up. You really want to be in control of the agenda, but in this scenario someone else is choosing how the leisure time will be spent. Get your head out of your ass and appreciate the people you’re with during this vacation. Whether you end up drinking so much eggnog you confess your deepest darkest secrets, fall face first in the snow at your first attempts to snowboard, or watch the same Disney movie over and over again because your baby cousin decided that this is what everyone in the family is doing — enjoy the moment while it lasts, Leo. It’s not always about you. Especially during this trip.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

You’re finally working on the passion project you’ve be aching to start for some time. Although you’re usually a control freak when it comes to trying to perfect how things are done, this time you’re being open-minded. You’re even letting others have a say in how your project should be developed. Although it’s good that you’re allowing feedback from those you respect, you’re letting them dictate your flow way too much in this regard. You need to down-size the opinions you let impact your creation and trust your own instincts. You are the only one who can keep this shit together and make it happen.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

The mad connections you’ve made are finally offering you a bridge to the path of big ballin’. You are on the fence, but this one is totally worth the strides you are required to take in order to achieve makin’ the big bucks. The little voice in your head that questions whether this a good idea or not? Turn on the mute button and remind yourself of the fact that you’re a badass and you’ve got this. Fo’ real. If you don’t explore this possibility, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life — even while you’re on your death bed when you’re back in diapers reflecting on every missed opportunity.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Taurus

April 20 – May 20

Your house is a straight-up mess right now! Of course you have more important things to do. We get it. You’re busy with all of that procrastination you have scheduled every hour for the next week. In all honesty, you do sincerely have important things you are working on but your house smells like dirty socks and old pizza had a garbage-baby. It’s time to crush those Adderal pills and whip yourself up a good ole’ bowl of concentration pudding. You’ll be able to see the sexy femme-stache growing on your upper lip in the reflection of your shiny coffee table in no time!

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

It’s time to face the music and read that email you have been avoiding. You aren’t going to like what you see but this isn’t the time to let denial get the best of you. Drawing this out will only make things worse. You are stubborn as f*ck so you are going to need to accept that sometimes, you are wrong. And in this case, you are super duper wrong. Take a moment to breath and realize that this scenario is just another step towards a more open-mind. Try seeing things from a different perspective. Then, after you’ve let yourself properly absorb the information and accept reality, feel free to slam-dunk that message into your inbox’s trash bin and start over.

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

You need to reconsider the soul sucking job you’ve succumbed to and let the dream-beast in you fly free. You’ve been putting off following your bliss for way too long. You’re terrified. We know, Cancer. We know. You have bills to pay. Yada, yada, yada. The artist in you is dying to burst from the seams. So if you don’t confront your desires, eating Cheetos in bed while crying on yourself as you swipe through Pinterest is inevitable. Make it a side hobby at first, if you must, but eventually you need to let your creative juices flow.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

You’re being a brat about a trip that’s coming up. You really want to be in control of the agenda, but in this scenario someone else is choosing how the leisure time will be spent. Get your head out of your ass and appreciate the people you’re with during this vacation. Whether you end up drinking so much eggnog you confess your deepest darkest secrets, fall face first in the snow at your first attempts to snowboard, or watch the same Disney movie over and over again because your baby cousin decided that this is what everyone in the family is doing — enjoy the moment while it lasts, Leo. It’s not always about you. Especially during this trip.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

You’re finally working on the passion project you’ve be aching to start for some time. Although you’re usually a control freak when it comes to trying to perfect how things are done, this time you’re being open-minded. You’re even letting others have a say in how your project should be developed. Although it’s good that you’re allowing feedback from those you respect, you’re letting them dictate your flow way too much in this regard. You need to down-size the opinions you let impact your creation and trust your own instincts. You are the only one who can keep this shit together and make it happen.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

The mad connections you’ve made are finally offering you a bridge to the path of big ballin’. You are on the fence, but this one is totally worth the strides you are required to take in order to achieve makin’ the big bucks. The little voice in your head that questions whether this a good idea or not? Turn on the mute button and remind yourself of the fact that you’re a badass and you’ve got this. Fo’ real. If you don’t explore this possibility, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life — even while you’re on your death bed when you’re back in diapers reflecting on every missed opportunity.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

Happy Birthday Scorpio-Sagittarius Cuspies! If you were born today, November 21, then you are a Scorpio-Sagitarius Cusp baby! This means that you have traits from both signs. You may end up in VIP at the hottest night club in the city but you’ll wake up in a banana costume with a womyn’s rights protest sign in your hand and a bumper sticker on your face that says, “Caution: This vehicle makes frequent stops at your mom’s house.” Love Compatibility for the Scorpio-Sagittarius Cusp Your best bet is paring up with a Capricorn who will secretly set an alarm on your phone so you wake up on time for your job interview but will still break dance with you at your cousin’s wedding reception. Scorpio-Sagittarius Cusps You May Recognize Real Talk Horoscopes: Super Blunt Lesbian Horoscopes If you have a fragile ego (Ahem, Leos…) then you’re going to have to put your Sensitive Sally in check. This isn’t your local Sunday newspaper’s horoscope section. AfterEllen is about to get REAL with you right now. If you think you can handle it, scroll down and find out what that stars are actually saying to you today. Aries

March 21 – April 19

That new show you recently started watching is confusing as hell but if you ride it out into the next season, it will all start to finally make sense. Don’t jump to any conclusions or decide to stop watching it before giving it a chance. There is a greater message in the storyline that will spark a new epiphany you badly need. By the way, the main character dies in the end. Also, don’t play the lottery this week. It’s not your turn to hit the jackpot.

Taurus

April 20 – May 20

Your house is a straight-up mess right now! Of course you have more important things to do. We get it. You’re busy with all of that procrastination you have scheduled every hour for the next week. In all honesty, you do sincerely have important things you are working on but your house smells like dirty socks and old pizza had a garbage-baby. It’s time to crush those Adderal pills and whip yourself up a good ole’ bowl of concentration pudding. You’ll be able to see the sexy femme-stache growing on your upper lip in the reflection of your shiny coffee table in no time!

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

It’s time to face the music and read that email you have been avoiding. You aren’t going to like what you see but this isn’t the time to let denial get the best of you. Drawing this out will only make things worse. You are stubborn as f*ck so you are going to need to accept that sometimes, you are wrong. And in this case, you are super duper wrong. Take a moment to breath and realize that this scenario is just another step towards a more open-mind. Try seeing things from a different perspective. Then, after you’ve let yourself properly absorb the information and accept reality, feel free to slam-dunk that message into your inbox’s trash bin and start over.

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

You need to reconsider the soul sucking job you’ve succumbed to and let the dream-beast in you fly free. You’ve been putting off following your bliss for way too long. You’re terrified. We know, Cancer. We know. You have bills to pay. Yada, yada, yada. The artist in you is dying to burst from the seams. So if you don’t confront your desires, eating Cheetos in bed while crying on yourself as you swipe through Pinterest is inevitable. Make it a side hobby at first, if you must, but eventually you need to let your creative juices flow.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

You’re being a brat about a trip that’s coming up. You really want to be in control of the agenda, but in this scenario someone else is choosing how the leisure time will be spent. Get your head out of your ass and appreciate the people you’re with during this vacation. Whether you end up drinking so much eggnog you confess your deepest darkest secrets, fall face first in the snow at your first attempts to snowboard, or watch the same Disney movie over and over again because your baby cousin decided that this is what everyone in the family is doing — enjoy the moment while it lasts, Leo. It’s not always about you. Especially during this trip.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

You’re finally working on the passion project you’ve be aching to start for some time. Although you’re usually a control freak when it comes to trying to perfect how things are done, this time you’re being open-minded. You’re even letting others have a say in how your project should be developed. Although it’s good that you’re allowing feedback from those you respect, you’re letting them dictate your flow way too much in this regard. You need to down-size the opinions you let impact your creation and trust your own instincts. You are the only one who can keep this shit together and make it happen.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

The mad connections you’ve made are finally offering you a bridge to the path of big ballin’. You are on the fence, but this one is totally worth the strides you are required to take in order to achieve makin’ the big bucks. The little voice in your head that questions whether this a good idea or not? Turn on the mute button and remind yourself of the fact that you’re a badass and you’ve got this. Fo’ real. If you don’t explore this possibility, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life — even while you’re on your death bed when you’re back in diapers reflecting on every missed opportunity.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Someone in your life needs to be kicked to the curb. Dramatically. The idea of this is embarrassing for you because you have already invested a lot of time and energy into this person. Your anxiety levels spike at the thought of being without this person, but deep down inside of you is a hard ass that can handle even the craziest of situations. We understand if you need to cope via a weekend bender because your hangover will be a lot less painful than the chaos that will ensue if you continue to allow this person to walk all over you.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

A bromance you’re experiencing is blossoming into something more. You’re one lucky duck. There’s nothing like being naked with the person who you recently had a farting contest with. She understands you on a deeper level than the Tinder date you just tolerated the other night. You’re both comfortable enough with each other that there is no need for a facade or attempt to impress. Being able to be loved for who you are is a beautiful thing. Especially you, because you’re extremely opinionated and argumentative. Winter is coming, so this is a convenient time to have a cuddle buddy.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Netflix N’ Chill is pretty much the only thing you feel like doing right now. The hermit in you is taking over and the delivery person is on a first-name basis with you now. Your resistance to socializing is holding you back. There are some dope ass connections that have major career boosts in store for you. However, you aren’t going to meet your new celebrity best friend from your living room couch. Time to hit the shower and engage with others. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. We can smell your breath from here.

  Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

A mind-altering substance will be offered to you today. If you choose to participate, you will embark on an emotional and intellectual adventure. This adventure is the perfect distraction from the tedious tasks you’ve been engulfed in lately. However, it might not be worth it if the risks outweigh the benefits. Evaluate the situation before you take action and make sure you choose what steps you take next wisely. Also, remember to utilize the buddy system.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did years ago, the guilt will eat you alive. You have more than made up for your regrets by building karma points for some time now. Learn from your mistakes, make amends with those you have wronged, and let the chip on your shoulder crumble into a fine gluten-free potato flour. Sometimes letting shit go is the only thing left to do. Life is too short to waste any more time beating yourself up over what has already happened. Over things that you cannot change. Time to revisit your bucket list and enjoy that boxing robot cafe in Japan you’ve always had your heart set on. This is a time for rebirth. And robots.

Author Lily Khuu is a psychic lesbian witch who enjoys expressing her predictions with the art of GIF and meme. She is also a Los Angeles based entertainment professional and LGBT activist. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and see what she’s up to at www.lilykhuu.com!

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