Lesbros: Troy Nixey


The trusty website, UrbanDictionary.com, has several definitions for the term lesbro:

1. A man who has more friendships with lesbians than other women or men.

2. The male equivalent of a fag hag.

3. A heterosexual man who is either one or both of the following: a brother to one or more lesbian sisters, or, friends with a disproportionate amount of homosexual women. “Wow, your brother really only hangs out with gay girls, doesn’t he! And you’re a big gay yourself, sister! What a lesbro you’ve got there!”

To us, a lesbro is a little bit of all, but at his core, a lesbro is a male friend to at least one, but possibly several, lesbians. This column shares a little bit about some famous lesbros that we love.

This week’s Lesbro: Troy Nixey.

Troy Nixey is a Canadian comic book artist and filmmaker. His short, Latchkey’s Lament, premiered at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival. His new film Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, co-written and produced by Guillermo Del Toro for Miramx Films, will hit theaters this summer.

AfterEllen.com: Of the above three definitions of a lesbro, which do you think describes you best?

Troy Nixey:

Honestly, none of them. I’m proud to know some really excellent women who happen to be lesbians, one in particular who I count among my very close friends. My understanding of the above urban dictionary definitions puts a focus on a women’s sexual preference as a contributing factor for the friendship which I feel plays no role in why I’m a friend with the gay women I know.

AE: What is the best thing about your lesbian friend/s?

They are extremely creative intelligent women who are knowledgeable about what’s happening in the world around them. We can commiserate over the trials and tribulations of trying to make art for a living as well as talk about the absurdity of what’s transpiring around us in the “real world.” Makes for lively stimulating conversations.

AE: Do you think that having lesbian friends has anything to do with where you fall on the Kinsey scale? Care to comment on your own sexuality?

None. I’m a solid zero on the Kinsey scale. I’ve always felt comfortable with my sexuality and maybe because of that someone else’s sexuality has never been an issue for me.

AE: What stereotype about lesbians have you found to be false?

In retrospect, growing up on the prairies of Canada I feel I was isolated from different ethnic groups as well as gay men and women, I didn’t have over-protected parents, it’s simply the smaller towns I grew up in were pretty conservative. Obviously there must have been gay communities but for the life of me I couldn’t have told you where they were. Of course you still hear all sorts of stories, whether it’s schoolyard gossip or bad TV writing so if I had to pick one bubble to pop it would be that all lesbians are men haters. Not true, and I’m happy about that.

AE: What do you think it is specifically that draws you towards being friends with lesbians?

Straight or gay, man or woman, what draws me to create friendships with people is the same for everyone else: Personality. There’s a connection that engages you both and a desire to want to continue to know the person. It’s a natural thing that can happen with anyone if you can take preconceptions off the table. I’m sure it’s the same for the gay women I’m friends with. As far as I know it’s not “hip” to have a straight male friend in the lesbian community. I feel confident I’m not the equivalent of Paris Hilton’s bejeweled Chihuahua.

AE: How has your fiancee responded to your friendships with lesbians?

Having a close gay friend, and as a member of a mostly lesbian book club, Michelle has never had an issue with my friendships with lesbians. She’s become friends with my close friend that I mentioned earlier which is really great.

AE: You have just wrapped a big Hollywood film. As a director, do you understand why people in entertainment still are hiding their sexuality?

TN: Absolutely I do. I feel very fortunate, as a director, I get to work behind the camera and therefore maintain a great deal of anonymity. Obviously those in front of the camera aren’t afforded the same luxury. I understand why people work very hard to keep all facets of their private life private not just who they prefer to date and share their life with. If a gay person decides to live their life out and open to the world then more power to them and if they decide to keep it private then more power to them as well but the decision should be up to the individual not a gossip site/magazine. I can’t imagine dealing with the pressure of that bright of a spotlight.

Troy’s film Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark stars Guy Pearce and Katie Holmes. Check out the trailer and see it in theaters August 12.

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