Afternoon Delight: Constance McMillen wins big, Angelina Jolie shines on “Salt” red carpet, famous lesbian dons orange jumpsuit

Afternoon, lezzers. What do you want to talk about today? How Constance McMillen and the ACLU won her case against her homophobic Mississippi high school? About how tonight is an awesome night for lesbian/bi women on TV? About how frickin sexy Angelina Jolie looked on the Salt red carpet? Too bad! ‘Cause guess what? Lindsay Lohan went to jail this morning, and I take my blogging cues from Twitter.

(You think I’m being sarcastic, and I kind of am – but also: Twitter has conditioned me to lose patience with anyone in my real life who cannot verbally express her deepest dreams and fears in 140 characters or less.)

TheWrap.com has posted a round-up of the best Lohan-related Tweets from around the Web. Some of the Tweets are sucky people being sucky. And some of the Tweets are illiterate people being illiterate. But some of the Tweets are kind of hilarious:

@simonsam In jail: Lindsey Lohan. Not in jail: Osama Bin Laden, George Bush, the Pope, Anyone from BP, you get the point…

@metrosoundco: i’m betting lindsay lohan’s twin sister from the parent trap is actually the one going to jail today.

@macygrayslife Lindsay Lohan going to jail. The most talked about most photographed subject on international news today. This town needs an enema.

If you knew that the last line of that last Tweet is a line from the Joker from the 1989 version of Batman, I would like to buy you a drink. I would also like to buy a drink for AfterEllen writer Lesley Goldberg who pointed out that Lindsay is kind of smiling in her mug shot. Get out of jail soon, Lindsay Lohan. I’m rooting for you for real.

OK, so: Constance McMillen. Here’s the story from the Associate Press:

American Civil Liberties Union attorneys representing Constance McMillen filed notice Monday in U.S. District Court to accept a judgment offer from the Itawamba County School District to pay $35,000, plus attorney’s fees. As part of the agreement, the school district also said it would follow a policy not to discriminate based on sexual orientation and gender identity in any educational or extracurricular activities.

And here’s the commentary from Dara Nai:

Angelina Jolie was indeed smokin’ hot (per usual) on the Salt red carpet, and here are two photos because I love you.

Also, I was telling the truth about tonight’s TV. Jillian Michaels has a heart-warming episode of Losing It airing on NBC. Lesbian FBI agent Diana Lancing is super-duper hot on tonight’s episode of White Collar. (Don’t freak out because she’s in the bed with Neal.) And Piper Perabo is continuing to cure my Platonic Perabo Affliction with Covert Affairs.

Here’s a clip from tonight’s episode.

As a bonus, bisexual singer Fay Wolfe has a song on tonight’s episode:

Also, of course, we’re going to find out who got whacked on last week’s Pretty Little Liars. If you want to help me recap, Tweet me your thoughts. You guys asked for a hash tag, so I suggested #BooRadleyVanCullen. You can also just @reply me: @hhoagie.

The sad news on the TV front comes from The Good Wife. We heard Kalinda was getting a love interest named “Blake” this season, and of course our minds immediately jumped to Blake Lively. But we were kind of off. Turns out Kalinda’s Blake is going to be a dude.

Don’t forget that the Anyone But Me web-a-thon is coming up soon! Time to crack open your piggy bank and fund some awesome art! Here’s another fan-made event poster:

If you want to make a poster, Tweet it to @AnyoneButMe. In the meantime, someone Tweeted me this week to say she dreamed of me and Liza Weil. I assume she means she dreamed me and Liza were together, and that Liza was reading me bedtime stories in her maddeningly sexy voice every night. Let’s all work our hardest to dream that together tonight and make it a reality, OK?

Today’s Afternoon Delight is brought to you by Maggie Cheung. Lo West said we needed a little more Asian representation in AD, and I agree.