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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (May 14, 2010)

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

The former-first lady says she is OK with gay marriage, Otep feels like she’s in Jersey Shore and we’re not alone in hoping The Good Wife’s Kalinda comes out soon.

If you come across tweets that you think we should feature in “Tweets of the Week” or if you find (verified) Twitter accounts for out lesbian/bi women in entertainment who you think we should follow, please send us that info at [email protected].

 

THIS JUST IN: ELENA KAGAN AND SOFTBALL – AN AFTERELLEN.COM ANALYSIS

When a 50-year-old, single, smart, successful, short-haired woman captured the public eye as nominee for the Supreme Court, we knew what was coming: “Elena Kagan is a lesbian.”

I suppose we can find a backhanded compliment in the inevitable assumption that smart, strong women are gay. But the headlines still provoke a sigh, particularly when gay bloggers like Andrew Sullivan write that Obama is using Kagan to “advance the cause of the closet.”

Logo site 365Gay.com has summarized the brouhaha, in case you need to catch up. But even though the question of Kagan’s orientation has been asked and answered, Tuesday’s Wall Street Journal, which carried a front-page photo of Kagan playing softball in 1993, indicates that the subject is far from closed.

AfterEllen.com, not being a political site, has left the analysis to other sites. But bringing softball into the controversy makes it too personal to ignore. So, we asked our experts to examine the photographic evidence. Their conclusion: not only does the photo not prove that Kagan is a lesbian, but it points to quite the opposite.

Keds. Lesbians do not play softball in Keds. They are slippery and impractical. As blogger Heather Hogan says, “I wear cleats to check the mail.”

Grip. Occasional AfterEllen.com blogger and softball dyke Anna Wahrman says, simply, “A real lesbian wouldn’t choke up on the bat that much.” Plus, Kagan is squeezing the bat awfully hard, which stiffens the swing. Lesbians tend to have a more natural grip, having never been conditioned to hold tightly to tubular objects.

Jewelry. Kagan is wearing pearl earrings and a watch. Not a sports watch, mind you – a regular women’s watch. When I played softball, jewelry was not only silly, it was against the rules. If a lesbian wears any accessory, it’s a wristband.

Bare head. Blogger Lesley Goldberg offers: “She needs a hat. Or a visor if she really wants to have gay softball cred.” (Note: I think visors are a regional variation. Softball dykes around here wear baseball caps.) In the event of an actual game, of course, lesbian batters wear helmets.

Clothes. Kagan has on jeans and an oxford shirt over a henley. Goldberg: “Really, a button-down?” Exactly. And jeans? How would jeans fit over your knee brace? Besides, you want maximum flexibility in case you have to slide into second and accidentally kick your ex’s new GF face first into the sand.

Batting stance. Goldberg: “Where do I start with that softball stance? Gah!” Suffice it to say that she is not positioned to actually hit the ball.

Smile. Um, Ms. Kagan? This is a softball game. Leave that grin in the law review offices where it belongs. Goldberg: “I don’t care if someone I’m dating is pitching, I’m hitting it up the middle.” Spoken like a true lesbian.

For quick reference, Heather Hogan created this chart, comparing Kagan’s softball appearance to that of out lesbian player Lauren Lappin.

We are no experts on judicial matters, although an informed source tells us that administrative law and constitutional law, which Kagan taught, are definitely the gayest kinds of law. But we are lesbians, and we know softball. We rest our case.

Hey, did somebody say “case?” Who wants beer?

– by thelinster

WORKING THE POLL: AMERICANIZING LISBETH SALANDER

The film adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is getting an American remake, and several A-list actresses have thrown their name in to get at the role of the leading lady, bisexual hacker Lisbeth Salander.

Lisbeth, played convincingly by Noomi Rapace is the current trilogy, has a very strong look — jet black hair, facial piercings and an all-around kick-your-ass exterior. It seems some of the women might be better at that than others, while some are just preferential when it comes to the “kissing girls” part.

Which actress will look best as the leather jacket-sporting Lisbeth?

What actress will look best as the leather jacket-sporting LisbethMarket Research

In our poll last week, we asked you what genre of music you think is the most difficult for lesbian musicians to come out in. There was no contest.

<a href=”http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/3164168/”>In what genre of music is it the toughest for musicians to come out?</a><span style=”font-size:9px;”><a href=”http://polldaddy.com/features-surveys/”>customer surveys</a></span>

LESBIAN VIDEO CLIP OF THE WEEK

Showtime has given us all little appetizer of what’s to come with the demure ladies of The Real L Word this summer:

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Just when you thought lesbian visibility on television was starting to improve, cancellations of Better Off Ted, starring out actress Portia de Rossi, and FlashForward, featuring lesbian character Janis Hawk, were just announced. And on the Deadline Hollywood blog, Nellie Andreeva writes, “I hear Fox is canceling The Wanda Sykes Show after one season.” Maybe this isn’t the Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. after all.

Actress/filmmaker Kiana Firouz, who participated in a new docudrama, Cul de Sac, is in danger of being deported from the UK back to her home in Tehran, Iran. (She left Iran after her documentary about the treatment of LGBT people was discovered). Her application for asylum has been turned down by the home office, and her appeal against the home office’s decision was dismissed. You can sign a petition to urge the UK government to let her stay where she is safe since, according to the petition website, the “punishment for lesbianism involving persons who are mature, of sound mind, and consenting, is 100 lashes. If the act is repeated three times and punishment is enforced each time, the death sentence will apply on the fourth occasion.”

ESPN had a segment on E:60 about the corrective rape of lesbian athletes in South Africa. Warning: It’s disturbing, but kudos to ESPN for making this serious issue known.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show is up for eight Daytime Emmys, and Crystal Chappell is nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress (as Olivia Spencer on Guiding Light).

This week, our own Lesley Goldberg talked to actress Stephanie Hunt about playing a teen lesbian on Friday Night Lights and her new role on Californication, and new AfterEllen.com contributor Lindsey Byrnes took a hike with out graphic novelist Ariel Schrag while they discussed her new web comic series, working on The L Word and why she live Tweets 90210 reruns. Lindsey also talked to Hesta Prynn about going solo, her new tour with Tegan and Sara and where she’s at on the scale of sexual fluidity.

Did you check out our new relationships column, The Hook Up, by Anna Pulley? This week she answers questions about lesbians who go straight after 30 and the lesbian one-night-stand. If you have a question for Anna, send it to [email protected].

Lady Sovereign recently talked to “Diva” magazine about being gay and why she hid her sexuality for as long as she did.

Lesbian contestant Courtney Rolston was eliminated on Masterchef Australia, despite cooking an impressive oyster dish with her team the day before. Bisexual chef Holli Ugalde will be a contestant on the upcoming season of Hell’s Kitchen, which debuts on Fox June 1.

On Coronation Street, one of the girls is going to be in the hospital fighting for her life, while the other declares her true feelings. This won’t happen until July, but you know Corrie likes to tease us months in advance with what’s going to happen with lesbians on their show.

Jackie Warner‘s This is Why You’re Fat has made it onto the New York Times’ Best Seller List at number three. Right above her? Jillian MichaelsThe Master Your Metabolism Cookbook.

Our own Mia Jones talked to musical trio Hunter Valentine this week.The trio’s queer frontwoman Kiyomi McCloskey and bassist Adrienne Lloyd share stories about coming out, things they’ve learned from staying out all night and the band’s collective love of Pink.

On CNN’s The Joy Behar Show, Behar hosted a panel that included out actress Amanda Bearse, out writer Dan Savage and Newsweek writer Ramin Setoodeh to discuss his controversial article about gay actors playing straight. You can watch video of the show here. Did you know that Kristin Chenoweth slammed Setoodeh and Newsweek for his article?

In a Telegraph interview with bisexual poet laurete Carol Ann Duffy, she says she was outed when her father caught her reading The Well of Loneliness. Duffy said, “I think I was 12. I remember finding it very boring. Well, it is boring. There was a fuss and my father took it back to the library.”

Rachel Maddow will be giving the commencement speech this weekend at Smith College. The ceremony will begin shortly before 10 a.m. Sunday, May 16 and Maddow’s speech is expected to begin at approximately 10:45 a.m. ET. You can watch the webcast of it here on Sunday.

We’re beginning to think that Legend of the Seeker has the hottest lesbian action on TV today. In this past weekend’s episode, “Eternity,” Cara and Dahlia got close. Really close.If you like the show, and want to see a third season after next week’s two-part finale, check out saveourseeker.com.

Sia has a track, “Your Love,” on the new Eclipse soundtrack. And she never fails to give a great soundbite. Sia is Cherrie magazine’s June cover girl, and in her interview she told them about her partner JD Samson, “JD is my ‘Junicorn.’ She’s sort of both male and female, she doesn’t know what she is, and we don’t care. The fact is if she’s male, I’m straight and if she’s female, I’m gay, and I don’t care either way…”

Lesbian Love‘s Jessica and Lacey are in Glamour magazine this month, discussing their recent nuptials.

Lesbian filmmaker Tina DiFeliciantonio and writer Jane C. Wagner will open their movie Whiz Kids on June 4 in New York City and June 11 in Los Angeles. The documentary follows “three remarkably different yet equally passionate 17-year-old scientists who vie to compete in the nation’s oldest, most prestigious science competition.” Nerds and gay women, check it out in select cities next month.

If you’re into scary films and and live in Texas, check out “Fears for Queers,” an LGBT horror film fest happening June 19. The line-up includes Stacie Ponder‘s Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear.

This past weekend’s New York Times had a feature on two-character productions, including Collected Stories, a Broadway play starring Sarah Paulson. The out actress also talked with New York Magazine about her favorite drink (tequila,) her mortal enemy (Sarah Palin) and what she hates about living in New York (nothing).

A former Biggest Loser contestant, who entered the competition with her husband at the time, has now come out as a lesbian. Rasha Spindel told TMZ, “After 30 years, I finally realized I was gay. I have never been this happy as I am now, as I am about to marry my best friend and soul mate who just happens to be the sexiest drag-king on the planet.”

Out Top Chef Masters‘ contestant Susan Feniger shares her kitchen secrets with O magazine this month.

The results of our 2010 Hot 100 poll will be posted on Monday. Check back to see if your favorites made the list!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

– by Karman Kregloe

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