Lesbianing with AE! This Week: How to Find Your Dating Mojo Again and Have Sex at Her Parent’s House

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My girlfriend moved back in with her parents to save money. We aren’t at a stage in our relationship where we want to live together, but we both miss the freedom we had to see each other (and have sex) when she wasn’t living with them. She usually ends up sneaking out at night and coming over to my place, or having me come over once everyone’s gone to bed. The last time I was over there we were fooling around on the living room sofa and almost got caught when her brother came home from a party. Her room is right next to her parent’s room, and it’s filled with stuffed animals and posters of bands she liked when she was in high school. Her bed is creaky, the decor is juvenile, and I just can’t get in the mood when I’m over there. Meanwhile my place is noisy, my roommates can hear everything (thin walls) and my roommate’s obnoxious dog is always barking. So it’s not like having sex there is any better — actually, her parent’s place is better than mine, if only I could get my head into the game. How can we not get caught having sex at her parent’s house and how can I enjoy it?

– Frustrated

Hi Frustrated,

That’s a stressful situation to be in, and it’s no wonder you’re struggling to stay turned on knowing her parents are in the next room. Have you talked about it together? If not, start there — sharing your feelings can help you stay close while you work through sex when your girlfriend lives at home.

If your girlfriend’s childhood bedroom is the main turn-off, and she is going to be living their for a couple years, perhaps you two can redecorate together? Relegating those stuffed animals to the attic (or donating them to charity), painting over those pink walls with a neutral gray, and replacing band posters with framed art could help you relax while you’re in her room. Even if money’s tight, a redecoration doesn’t need to be expensive. It could be your anniversary/birthday gift to your girlfriend.

If your concerns are less about the bedroom than about her family being around, capitalize on every opportunity they’re out of the house. Rather than have the sort of intimate, hours-long sex you want to have, you could experiment with quickies, shower sex, using vibrators together, and whatever else you’ve maybe wanted to try but haven’t. Reading erotica, writing erotica, or watching porn (with headphones on, haha) while her folks are at home could help you get in the mood so you’re both raring to go when the house is empty.

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When you’re going at it in her room, use music, a movie, or a white noise machine to drown out the sounds you’re making and the sounds of the home that tend to distract you (make sure your girl has music going at other times too, so it’s not a signal to everyone that you two are getting naked). Or turn it into a control thing where she stops touching you if you moan, so you have to stay super quiet if you want to come. If the bed creaks, experiment with positions that don’t use the bed or try something more stationary, like oral.

If you’re interested in taking things out of the house, here’s some tips for having sex in public. Ultimately, if you two are serious, you can develop a plan for a better future. That could look like moving in together, you getting a quieter place, or lots of sex in the car (in a secluded location, obvi).

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