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You’re a mean one, Shannen Doherty

Not really, I’m sure that she’s a lovely person (despite whatever erroneous conclusions you might draw from those battery and vandalism charges, restraining orders, and the required anger management courses). But she’s taking on a very Grinch-like role for her next TV movie, Christmas Caper on the ABC Family Network. In it, the Republican actress will star as a thief who tries to “steal Christmas” when she returns to her hometown in suburbia.

I think this is choice casting. If some little Cindy Lou Who look-alike resists forking over the loot, Doherty can always just punch her in the face!

And if that’s not enough Doherty for you, she’s also been cast in a gay spy series produced by gay network here! Kiss Me Deadly: A Jacob Keane Assignment will star Queer as Folk alum (and out gay actor) Robert Gant and will be available to subscribers in November.

Below is the rundown on the series:

Jacob Keane (Gant) is a photographer living the family life in Milan with his loving boyfriend, Paolo, and Julia, the daughter he shares with his lesbian friend, Kyra. When a young woman, Marta (Doherty), arrives from his past life, he is pulled back into the high-stakes world of international espionage. Together they must elude a mysterious enemy threatening to disrupt their now-quiet lives.

No word on whether or not Kyra and Marta hook up (though I’m thinking they don’t), but that shouldn’t stop Doherty’s lesbian fans (I can’t be the only guilty party, right? Right?) from tuning in.

Ah, it seems like just yesterday when Doherty was just a babe, playing the timid turned terrorizing Heather in Heathers. Here’s a clip from the movie, before the power of being the new top-Heather (or the short-term star of Beverly Hills 90210) went to her head.

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