“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.9 “Results Are In”


This is the best part of the show. Jackie’s
the-showmance-must-go-on dramas, Rebecca’s shenanigans, the trainers and their extracurriculars
— they’re all interesting in a train wreck sort of a way, but when a formerly
sad fat girl says she’s finally happy because she can see her toes for the
first time since eighth grade, it makes me want to hug Valerie Bertinelli. At least that’s what I tell myself.

How to drop 108
pounds in five minutes —
After the SkyLabbers have been released into the
wild, it’s a quiet day at the gym. Jackie’s in her office doing Sudokus or
something equally important when Briana steps off the elevator with some makeup

Oh honey, you are so sweet, but you don’t give flowers to a
butch. A better butch gesture would be to bring a wrist cuff, some batteries or
a new drill

That said, Jackie is not a real butch.

Hair-fixing and smiling at the sight of a bouquet of roses
are clear indicators that Mack Jackie is a closet femme. And probably a bottom.

Jackie seems positively giddy about Briana’s surprise visit.

Jackie: What are
you doing?
Thought about you a lot today. And I was kinda in the area and maybe,
ya know … just surprise you. It’s nice to see you …
[overlapping Briana] … Pichu misses you.
Pichu misses me?
Jackie: Pichu misses you.
I miss him, too.
Yeah, he’s been really depressed. Not me, I’m fine.
Of course you’re fine.
Jackie: Yeah …

Briana’s smile slowly fades. Awkward silence. It’s amazing
how two people can go from playing Prisoner and the Warden’s Wife to not being
able to converse — all in less than five months. Finally, Jackie asks, "Where
do you think we should go from here?"

Hoo boy. Here we go again.

Briana wants to make it work, but they both have to want it —
she’s not going to go it alone. Jackie warns her it’s going to be a lot of work and exhausting. This is a woman who will push herself through the hundredth
lunge, the third hour of cardio, the bazillionth crunch, but she’s put off by
having to occasionally disagree over boundaries for exes.

I guess losing control of your sphincter in the 25th mile of
a run isn’t as messy as losing control to someone who’s 12 years your junior.

Briana: If you
can tell me that you’re ready to work at it, too …
Jackie: Are we making up, is that
Briana: Are we making up?

Jackie doesn’t answer. She smiles and studies Briana’s face.
Next thing we know, Jackie’s thanking Briana for stopping by, and Briana
leaves. What the hell? Is that what you people call a cliff-hanger?

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