“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.9 “Results Are In”

What straight people
do while we’re processing —
Elsewhere, Greg has invited Renessa over for dinner.

Cooking for his date in his tidy, well-appointed house, with
his pink shirt, hair product and manicured eyebrows, Greg Plitt is the very
model of the metrosexual muscle man.

Renessa called ahead to say she’s bringing a third. Not that
kind of third, you perv. Rebecca is tagging along because she’s newly single
and lonely.

Renessa: Are you
Rebecca: Yeah, I’m better today. I’ve
only had one rebound. That’s pretty good, right?

Renessa smirks knowingly. Rebecca admits she was tipsy and
bumped uglies with a friend she’s known for five years. When did she start
working for Jackie, again?

The girls watch with alarm as Greg dumps nine tablespoons of
salt into a bowl. OK, maybe he’s no Top Chef, but at
least he’s trying. I misjudged this guy. I’m sorry I ever called him Plitoris.

Greg starts to plate some weird halibut and mayo dish. Rebecca
tries a piece and almost barfs.

Who wants to order pizza?

Leaving — Alone
in the house with Pichu and a camera crew, Briana carries her bag to the front
door. She sets her things down and goes into the kitchen to leave Jackie a
goodbye note.

She signs it with an "XOXO" and picks Pichu up for
one last hug. Grabbing her bag, her keys and the leash of a pug I’ve never seen
before, Briana walks out of the house. Pichu stares at the front door, as he
always does when Briana leaves. It’s always the kids who suffer the most.

Five seconds later Jackie comes back, as if she were lurking
in the bushes. She reads the note and promptly throws it in the trash.

If there aren’t any reminders, there isn’t any problem,
right? Shewt, everyone knows that.

Jackie sits down and immediately calls her personal 911. Over
at Plitt’s Fish Shack, Rebecca’s ass starts buzzing and it’s not diarrhea from
Greg’s halibut.

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