“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.9 “Results Are In”

Advice — Because
of her problems with Briana, Jackie seeks out the comfort and advice of friends
and invites them out for sushi. Again? Is there no other food in L.A.? Work Out is single-handedly supporting
Hollywood’s sushi industry, one maki roll at a time.

While they wait for their food, Jackie describes her girl
troubles to her buds: Jesse, who’s happily dating someone, and Rebecca, who’s
in the throes of her own breakup drama.

Jackie: Our first
date, she moved out of her girlfriend’s house, really, and moved in with me … I
asked her some months ago to keep a respectful distance from her ex-girlfriend.
And I found out recently that her ex texted her that she loved her.

Jesse contemplates whether lesbians are more insane than gay
men, and Rebecca reacts with her usual placid composure.

Jackie — with her One Strike and You’re Out rule — says she
can’t even look at Briana anymore, she’s so controlling-slash-offended. Also,
she now questions everything Briana ever said to her. This probably includes
everything from her past, to her age, to what was really in those green, gloppy

Jackie had a subtle shirt made, to help her express her

Jesse: If there’s
no trust, then there’s nothing.
Jackie: So, I have to leave her, don’t

Rebecca and Jesse advise Jackie not to make any rash
decisions. Jackie doesn’t particularly want to break up, because in a few short
months, it’s already been better with Briana than anyone else. But wait, there’s

Jackie: Here’s
the thing you guys don’t know: She adores me.

Check, please.

Jackie: And she’s
all about me. And she’s been very supportive in so many ways. This is why I’m
so floored because the lying that went [on] behind me, that she deceived me.

Jesse reminds Jackie that Briana is "a child." Mature
and wise Jackie declares that she doesn’t want to look at a woman in her 20s ever
again. And she really means it this time. Seriously. For real now. Honest.

The last weigh-in — The
next day, there are more upbeat, positive things to focus on. It’s the last
weigh-in for the SkyLab kids. Most of them started out with body fat in the
30-40 percent range. Deenie came in at a whopping 54 percent body fat. Improvement
is not an option; it’s non-negotiable if they want to live past 60. There is no
such thing as an old fat person.

Everyone got off to a slow start, but Jackie reports the
numbers are looking good. She scribbles weigh-in information on her
super-secret clipboard. The final results require a calculator, some calipers
and possibly Excel macros. In any event, the big reveal won’t be ready for a
few days.

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