“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.8 “Make It Work … Out”

Andrea wants a
demonstration right then and there, so Jackie gets up and shows them a few squats
that I like to call the Rice Paddy Birth. After three or four reps, she stops.

Andrea wants to see what
a full minute will look like, because unlike Jackie and her strangely elastic
concept of time, Andrea knows that one minute can be an eternity in a video.

Jackie says dismissively,
"Oh, I’m not doing it for a minute."

Andrea informs Jackie she’ll
have to be talking the entire time she’s squatting and lunging, because without
some lively chatter, watching squats is D-U-L-L, dull. Oh, I don’t know about
that. I could watch Rebecca and Erika do squats all day long.

Next, they discuss the
trainers to be used as Jackie’s backup dancers on the video. They’re all in amazing
shape, telegenic and sexy, but they can’t all be on the DVD. More importantly,
Andrea wants to know how tight her star feels these days.

Andrea: How are you feeling about
yourself? Because the last time we talked, you were feeling …
Jackie: I’m so aggravated ’cause I
haven’t even had time to work out. I know what this is going to take: an
endurance and being able to be clear and speaking, as well as doing the
exercises and the routines. And I still haven’t had time to train.

Hmm. Jackie constantly
admonishes her SkyLab clients for not making time to work out. Oh well. Do as
she say, not as she do.

Andrea: People
know who you are. You need to bring that person and make me feel like for
whatever amount of money that I have to spend in the stores to buy this, I’m
getting a little piece of you.

Selling
Jackie Warner by the pound. Isn’t that Bravo’s job?

Trying hard now — Jackie goes to Runyon
Canyon
, the Hollywood park where beautiful people go to sweat out last
night’s martinis and walk their doggies, to whip her ass back into fighting
shape.

Imagine,
if you will, the theme to Rocky. Dah-da-dahhhh,
duh-da-dummm. Gonna fly now … Jackie’s
crunching her abs. She’s doing push-ups in the dirt.

I wish
we had footage of her chasing a live chicken around, or a grizzled old trainer
telling her, "You’re gonna eat lightnin’, you’re gonna crap thunder!"

Here,
Jackie Balboa airs out the moist areas to avoid chafing.

Jackie says
she’s insecure right now; she’s not feeling strong and she’s not 21 anymore. Hardcore
training is the only way to get the eight-pack the public expects to see on a
fitness professional such as herself.

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