The first game is Pass
the Orange. The
object of this mortifying activity is to place a hapless orange under your chin
and, without using your hands, pass it to your teammate’s neck. As soon as
Vicki shouts "Go!" Renessa is willingly sexually assaulted by a complete
Rebecca wonders how she
got roped into these reindeer games and says, "They don’t pay me enough
for this." Oh honey, that train left the station three years ago.
Flanked by two other
contestants, Rebecca waits for the orange to make its way to her. Whatever went
wrong with Rebecca’s turn went wrong quickly. The last time these nice ladies rubbed
against someone as lithe and young as Rebecca, a gallon of milk cost a dollar.
I have to go to my Happy Place now.
While my corneas try to
recover, everyone prepares for the next game, Lesbian Balloon Popping. Or as I
like to call it, Acceptable Public Humping.
Rebecca finally gets to
the end of the pool, where she and an enthusiastic woman try in vain to pop the
balloon. Or make a baby. It’s all very confusing.
Rebecca: I looked like a little stick
on top of this big woman. And she’s trying to pop it. And she’s, like,
thrusting me, and it was slipping … I was having an out-of-body experience, to
be honest with you.
Like that’s never
happened to you before.