Hanging with da boys — While Jackie and the girls sit poolside
somewhere in the Pacific, Greg Plitt has the Sky Sport men over to his house
for a barbeque. Jesse brings J.D., the masseur, to introduce him to the rest of
the guys. J.D. tells them about his
interesting massage interview with Jackie.
Plitt: Whoa. You had to give Jackie a
massage before she’d hire you?
J.D.: I had to massage Jackie naked.
Jesse: Did she get an erection?
If she did, it would be
the only happy
ending on the show. I love Jesse.
Greg’s entertainment for
the afternoon is a game of horseshoes. Good ol’ boy Brian is in his element,
but Jesse and J.D. are gay men. Gay men normally try to avoid metal objects found
embedded in manure, but they’re good-natured and give it a try.
Oddly enough, Jesse and J.D.
both get ringers their first time in the pit. Playing all that ring toss with
their boyfriends has paid off.
Afterwards, the men sit
down to a big meal of grilled cow and pig. Bathed in testosterone, Brian
invites everyone to do the Mud Run, a 10K charity
obstacle course that features crawling through sand, scaling walls, traversing
water, and of course, lots of mud. No wimpy AIDS walking for him, no sir. They all
accept his invitation. Hooyah!
Longitude and attitude — Rebecca and Erika are out on deck conducting
a boot camp for the few, the proud, the sun-screened. It’s Rebecca’s first time
leading a class, but she’s a natural at making lesbians sweat. Out of nowhere,
Jackie shows up and starts barking orders.
Jackie: Yeah! C’mon, guys! Keep going
with the ab work.
Rebecca: Jackie, we have this
Jackie: That’s all right. Don’t
worry about it. One! Two! Three …
Erika: [to Rebecca] This is f—ed
Jackie: I’m taking over this class!
Rebecca: Why are you taking over
Jackie: Ha ha ha!
Rebecca and Erika smile
through clenched teeth and watch helplessly as Jackie usurps their authority in
front of everyone with her push-ups and air of celebrity.
Chaos ensues. Some women
start doing Jackie Warner push-ups, some stand up on Rebecca’s command. Erika stands
dumbfounded as her train goes off the rails right before her very eyes. And
just as suddenly as she appeared, Jackie warbles, "Good job!" and
wanders off to steer the ship.