“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 208

Skylab coming in for a landing

The Skylabbers are almost done with their intense boot-camp program. Jackie’s anxious to see their results because she’s all about their success, which we all know is merely a reflection of her own inspired awesomasity.

Competitive as all get out, the trainers have ramped up their training sessions to squeeze every last ounce of fat from their clients. Zen has Carol on an elliptical machine that, were it hooked up to a generator, could power the entire block. There is something about her that reminds me of a hamster.

Jesse has his lesbian couple out on the deck doing synchronized calisthenics, because they do every damn thing together. Gregg and Tess are working out, too. Sort of. Tess is using her right arm to pull some weights. That’s all. Gregg’s not into keeping his job.

When you want something done right, call a woman

Jackie is still trying to launch her clothing line. She doesn’t have a name for it yet, so let’s just call it "Jackie’s Big Fat Ego" active wear.

Jackie’s original manufacturer was Steve, a shifty-eyed imbeltard who threw a bunch of crap together and called it fashion. Steve didn’t "get" Jackie. His idea of a gay workout maven was Richard Simmons, and he had all the sportswear sensibilities of a housewife from New Jersey.

Now Jackie has to start all over, and right away, before the retail people catch on she has no frigging idea what she’s doing.

Jackie calls in a new clothing manufacturer, a woman named Donna Shin. Donna not only "gets it," she’s local and can run over any time Jackie gets inspired to design revolutionary socks that can go from the gym to the street. In the office, Donna almost sits on Jackie’s dog, Pichu.

Jackie: Did you bring the samples with you?
Donna: Yeah.
Cool. [pause] Can I see them?
Donna: Sure.
Donna: You ready?
Jackie: Yeah.
Donna: OK.
Jackie: Let’s do this. Let’s see them. I’m nervous.

It feels like Donna is stalling, but she comes through, and how. She produces not a cardboard box of rags, like Steve did, but a full, glorious rolling rack of samples that all represent Jackie’s rad-ass fashion vision. I knew she’d bring it. When you need something done right, you have to call a woman.

Project runway

Jackie needs to slap together a portfolio of her new line right away. Instead of leisurely auditioning a bunch of hot models like I would’ve done, she uses the trainers from the gym: Erika, Zen, Rebecca and herself. It took me all this time to notice that her clothing line is only for women. Heh. Yeah.

The women of Sky Sport go to a studio to shoot the "Jackie’s Big Fat Ego" fashion spread. Zen likes getting her hairs and face did. Erika, fresh from her Erikalina Jolie shoot, is an old pro in front of the camera. OK, no, not really — Erika doesn’t have much in the way of personality. But she has a kick-ass bod, and that makes her a babe-a-tron. Rebecca, predictably, is the biggest ham of them all.

Erika: Rebecca is the funniest one to watch. She’s just a free spirit, which is really nice. I kind of wish I had some of that quality, instead of, like, always monitoring in my head, like, what people are thinking.

Erika is a fembot. I’m sure of it.

The photos turn out pretty nice, even in Jackie’s designs. They all have carved abs that look great, especially in the one orgy shot where each one is humping the other from behind, with Jackie on the end with a boxing glove cupping Zen’s ass. Were it up to me, that would be the lead shot, because that’s just how I roll.

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