Jackie’s speech â€” Instead of a class of 25, Jackie learns she was tricked and it’s going to be more like 150 students enjoying her pearls of wisdom. As America ‘s future lawmakers, waitresses and car salesmen file in and take their seats in the bleachers, Karen gives some pointers on public speaking, because she’s such an expert. Jackie starts to wonder if anyone has even seen Work Out.
Standing in the middle of the gym floor, Barbara takes the mic and announces Jackie as the star of that "hit reality show." Jackie has been on a red carpet or two, had the press jostle each other to take her picture and received thousands of fan letters, but nothing compares to returning home as the conquering hero with her own TV show and the coolest hair in town.
Jackie grabs the mic and tells the kids how much fun she had there at Fairborn High â€” so much so, she was a D student. The good news is that this is America , and you have endless opportunities to redeem yourself.
Jackie: When you get to it, no matter what you do in junior high and high school, you always have several chances to make up for it and reinvent yourself. And that’s the biggest message I try to give â€¦ that life is about reinvention, and it’s never over until it’s over.
If you’re good at it, like Jackie is, you can reinvent yourself until you believe your own hype and think you were on the honor roll. The lesson here: D students can still go far. All the way to the White House.
During the question-and-answer period, the kids want to know things like how she decided to do what she does. Um, because NASA was full? One girl asks if it was scary leaving Fairborn and going out on her own. Not as scary as working at the Daisy Barrel for 15 years.
Jackie says she was scared, but she didn’t let it stop her from taking off for Los Angeles at 18. And if she can do it, seriously, anybody can.
Afterward, a gaggle of kids stand in line waiting for Jackie’s autograph, because she’s what passes for celebrity these days. As she takes time to talk to each kid, Karen takes pictures with her camera. The local press is also there to interview their native daughter. It really is a big day at Fairborn High School.
Karen: It was just incredible for me to see my daughter â€¦ with a horde of students behind her, waiting in line for autographs. It was just something else. I’ll never forget it.
Jackie’s mom is sometimes so busy poo-pooing the gay "lifestyle," she forgets to be proud of Jackie. Today is an eye-opener for her. Jackie and her mom hug afterward. Karen tells Erin how she’s "always been proud of [Jackie's] many accomplishments." Too bad the whole lesbian thing makes it impossible to brag about her to the ladies at the Clip N Save.
What I want to know is: Where is Jackie’s first girlfriend? Jackie told Rebecca her first girl experience was at the tender age of 13. That woman still lives in Fairborn, I can feel it.
Zen’s new boy toy â€” Zen has a new boyfriend named Jason. He’s blandly cute, tall and friendly, and Gregg hates him immediately. He gets all twitchy and weird, even though he only dated Zen for a couple of months and seriously, who cares?