Inside the mind of Jackie Warner — Jackie’s alone in the gym working out. Using a half gym ball, flat side up, she’s honing her moneymaker — her body — with push-ups not meant for beginners, weaklings or me.
Her mind is preoccupied with thoughts of the uptight, close-minded Mormon who used to tie her shoes and wipe her nose: her mother. You need only see them interact for five minutes to dismiss the myth that we all eventually become our mothers.
In a flashback from last season, Jackie and her mom rehash yet again why Mrs. Warner will never dance at Jackie’s wedding.
Jackie: I want to get married and at some point, I’m going to set up house with a woman …
Mom: Why would you have a marriage?
Jackie: Because I want that for myself. I want the same things…
Mom: It’s not a real marriage.
Jackie: What is "real marriage"? I don’t even know what "real marriage" is.
Mom: It’s between a man and a woman.
Jackie: No, that’s …
Mom: That’s the way it’s been ordained by God.
I believe Jackie when she says she doesn’t know what real marriage is — too bad God has nothing to do with it. Anyway, Jackie will have no peace until she comes to some sort of resolution with her mother. Good luck, honey.
An offer he can’t refuse — Brian is working with his client, Floyd, and Rebecca is off to the side folding T-shirts when Jackie strolls out onto the gym floor. After she gives Floyd a friendly "what’s up?" she mentions to Brian she’s going out of town. Brian asks somewhat randomly if she’s going to New York. Jackie says, "I wish," but no, she’s going home to Ohio for some good home cooking and a gay rights smack-down with mom.
When Jackie’s away, that place breaks down like a shotgun, so she always appoints a trainer as Boss for a Day. Last season, Erika was her right-hand woman because she’s such a rule domme and all-around goody-goody. This year, Jackie’s forgotten all about the schoolmarm who looks like Lara Croft and decides Peeler is her best choice.
Brian is understandably shocked when Jackie anoints him, not because he hasn’t earned it — except for the house party fight, Brian’s been eerily level-headed and professional lately — but because he was sure the rules of Jabecca were in play. And by the way, Jackie offered Brian the job right in front of Rebecca. Rebecca’s thinking WTF and OMG and other acronyms.
Jackie casually scans the room as she rattles off the things she’ll need Brian to do. She pretends to spot Rebecca, who’s been standing right there the whole time, and says, fake as can be, "Hey, Rebecca." Jackie said in her interview that she’s no actress, and she was right.
Rebecca: When she talked to Brian Peeler about taking over the gym while she was gone, mostly, I was confused. Like, what? Brian Peeler? I don’t think of great leadership when I think of him. I don’t know, maybe she’s just gone temporarily insane.