The night before â€” Rebecca is at Jackie’s house, watching her pack for her business trip. Jackie never called Steve to ream him out about the hideous samples. Now the meeting is tomorrow, and the queen of confrontation avoidance doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she sees him. She’s so take-no-prisoners about her gym and dating women that it’s odd she can’t just call this guy and say, "You’re dead to me."
Rebecca assures her she’ll do fine. She rummages through Jackie’s carry-on to see if she’s packed her good underwear and asks what’s the latest news on Doug? Doug hasn’t allowed any visitors, and everyone’s in the dark about his condition.
Jackie: I’m worried because it’s been a while now, and I don’t know exactly how serious it’s been, or how serious he is. So, do me a favor and just keep me posted.
Rebecca: I know.
Jackie: You’re going to hear things before I do, being around the gym.
Rebecca: I’ll be in contact and let you know what I hear and what goes on.
Jackie: Please do. I’m very, very worried about it.
Ugh. Let’s move on.
Erika’s shoot â€” Erika goes to meet Dan, Dan the Look-alike Man at a photo studio. The makeup guy takes one look at her and immediately wants to redo her eyebrows. Erika tries to pay attention because she’s about as makeup savvy as she is animated.
How can a pretty girl go her whole life and never learn how to use makeup? Isn’t that one of the first things femmey girls learn, right after how to drive us slowly insane with their head games?
Dan has a surprise in store for Erika. A tall, blond guy walks into the studio. As he comes closer, he starts to bear a small resemblance to Brad Pitt. Sort of. He doesn’t really look like Brad; not as much as Erika looks like Angelina, anyway. Erika knows cheese when she smells it, but she’s having her moment in the sun, so who cares?
Zen also shows up to hang out and lend her support. Nobody really works on this show, do they? People just do yoga, get their pictures taken, and get their nose hairs waxed all day long.
With her makeup did, all Erika has to do is squeeze her boobs together to create cleavage and presto, she’s Angelina. Zen looks on approvingly.
Erika: The pressure of having to look like someone â€¦ it’s really hard. And especially when so many people love to criticize and like, "Oh, God. She looks nothing like her." And knowing that people think that way? I’m like, "Oh my God â€¦"
Hello? You naturally look like Angelina Jolie. That’s all there is to it. I don’t think keeping your face attached to your head involves a great degree of difficulty. It’s right up there with sloughing off skin cells and breathing.
Despite her odd personality quirks and interesting definition of "pressure," Erika looks effortlessly hot. Ersatz Brad picks her up in his arms, and the photographer begins snapping away.
The shots aren’t working for me, though. Erika has a small smirk on her face the entire time, and the real Angelina has no use for such self-satisfied affectations â€” not when there are so many bloated-belly children with flies in their eyes to adopt.