Erika, interrupted â€” Erika is brought into Jackie's office. Jackie's wearing Nancy Sinatra-style white go-go boots and a red satin jacket with zebra-striped cuffs and a hood. This is the style maven who's launching her own clothing line? I'm just saying.
Erika is given the news that a celebrity look-alike agent called for her. Erika wants to know why. Why? Because he wants to know if you've seen the Olsen Twins lately. I swear.
Jesse is also there, because God forbid he misses anything. He jokes they want her because she looks like BeyoncÃ©. When Jackie says it's Angelina Jolie, Erika guffaws and claims she has no earthly idea why they'd think such a thing. Yeah, OK.
Jackie says they want to take some test photos, and if they like what they see, they'll be pimping her out to anyone who can't afford the real deal. Erika is excited in her own low-level way. Erika has two settings: bored and comatose.
Wardrobe malfunction- Jackie gets a delivery from Steve at the gym….
Jackie: Oh Steve… oh Steve. And I'm supposed to bring this to a retailer.
Aleeza: Oh no. What are you going to do?
Jackie: Do you know why I get very tired and grumpy sometimes?
Uh, because you haven't had a banana split in ten years?
Jackie: Because if I don't do everything myself, it doesn't get done properly.
Jackie: And that becomes quite a burden, because I can't rely on anybody but myself. And I'm going to blow somebody's brains out.
Steve, man, you better run.
Jackie closes the box and sits there staring at it, quietly freaking out inside. She bites her nails and listens to her stomach churn.
Jesse and Rebecca wander by and ask what's the commotion? Rebecca wants to see what's in Jackie's box. Heh. Jackie shows her (again) and Rebecca makes a face like something smells (again). They agree that Jackie's clothing line has gone from "so cute" to "so wrong," all because of Steve.
As if on cue, the phone rings, and it's an executive named Elise from the Indianapolis retail chain, Paiva. (It's a well-kept secret that Indianapolis is the Milan of the Midwest.) Jackie resorts to doing what she does best: B.S. her way through it.
Jackie: I'm so excited to come meet with you!
Elise: We are really excited to have you visit. Our buyers are excited to look at the line and meet you and your partner.
Jackie: Yup [laughs], looking forward to it. We're flying on the plane tomorrow, so it's going to be interesting; it's going to be fun. We're going full-force with it, and I think it's going to be a really special line.
Elise: Yeah, great. Well, we are excited to take a look, and we will see you on Thursday morning when you get here.
Jackie: I'll see you there, honey.
Does anyone here know how to sew?
No pain, no gain â€” Meaghan returns to the gym with a less crappy attitude than last time. She's not even that heavy, by American standards. Then again, our standards aren't what they should be. You can have our chips when you pry them from our cold, dead, chubby hands with no distinguishable knuckles.
Meanwhile, Brian is working with Floyd. Floyd's seeing spots, so you know he's either getting the workout of his life or he's about to go toward the light. Brian reminds him it's called a workout, not "an easy-out." When Floyd can no longer speak, Brian decides they're done for the day. Comedian Carol Leifer used to have a joke about fitness: "No pain, no pain."