“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 206


Aren't you Angelina Jolie? — Jackie's in her office when a guy named Dan from a celebrity look-alike modeling agency calls. His crackerjack staff has gotten wind that someone at Sky Sport looks like Angelina Jolie. Season 1 aired in July of 2006. It only took him six months to find her. He wants to know if Jackie is the ringer for Angelina. Dan doesn't watch much Bravo.

While Jackie explains that the one Dan seeks is named Erika, I can't help but notice there's an 8-by-10 Jackie Warner publicity photo lying on her desk, staring back at her. The love affair never dies.

Jesse passes by her door, and Jackie motions excitedly to him to come in. She tells Jesse a celebrity look-alike agent might want to hire Erika. "Hire her for what?" Jesse wants to know. Heh, good question. There's probably big biz in look-alike hookers. I'd call up for an Angelin-alike myself, but she scares me a little.

Jesse: We should have, like, a bunch of kids around Erika when he walks in … different babies of all different ethnicities.
Jackie: [laughing]
Jesse: You look like Scarlett Johansson's older sister …
Jackie: I've heard that a lot.
Jesse: … or her bodyguard.

Looks like Frick and Frack have made peace and are back to their old selves.

The story of Meaghan — Erika's Skylab client, Meaghan, has not been as "present" as Erika would like her to be. Meaghan writes for the gossip rag Star magazine. Her grinding workload of writing captions for photos of Tobey Maguire leaving rehab and editing stories about Jennifer Aniston's secret baby from Mars has prevented her from keeping to her workout schedule.

On top of that, Meaghan hurt her knee, probably while stealing Paris Hilton's garbage. (Empty vodka bottles and unread books, in case you were wondering.)

Naggy Erika warns Meaghan that this is not about aesthetics anymore; it's about her health. How can you chase down fleeing celebs with a limp? Well, ya can't. Meaghan listens impassively. She's not into getting scolded today. Unconvincingly, she claims she's frustrated too. Her mouth says, "Yes, you're absolutely right," but the look on her mug says, "Shut the hell up, Erika, or I'm gonna pop you." Hey, it's your money.

Meaghan walks robotically on the treadmill and tells Erika she has job pressures. She starts to cry. It's the episode where everyone cries.

Her voice quivering, Meaghan explains about her long workdays and nights. It must be sheer hell to have to stay up all night writing. Gee, I wonder what that's like? Wimp. I love recapping. I just wish I could type faster than a chimp.

Jackie's vision — Last season, Jackie announced with great fanfare that she was launching a sports clothing line that matched her edgy, sexy, no-spandex-allowed tastes. This season, she's making it a reality with a young clothing designer named April Han.

April comes to see Jackie at the gym. She splays her latest design sketches on the desk. They're music-video cool — low-slung workout pants, micro miniskirts and dominatrixy bras. Here's another selling point: Clients will be able to do their workouts and head straight to the S/M club afterward without changing.

Jackie has also tapped a puffy, shifty New York textile guy named Steve to manufacture her line. Last season, she showed him the sexy girl graphics she favors, and he was on board like Rosie on an R Family cruise.

Jackie tells April she wants three colors: black, gray, silver and cerulean. That's four colors, Einstein. But what do I know? Cerulean sounds like a planet on Battlestar Galactica. What happened to good old blue, anyway? When did white become "linen" and orange become "pumpkin"? In the '80s, I thought cyan was a girl's name.


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