“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 202

I’m single. Pass it on — Jackie reminds everyone in a big announcement that she’s single. Subtle. Her new motto is: "No drama. No hardship. No promises." No drama. Right. That’s like Paris Hilton saying, "No cameras."

A tall woman with frizzy hair picks up on Jackie’s announcement. Jackie’s friends think she’s wearing too much makeup and her hair is weird. She’s also got breast implants, for sure. Ever feel breast implants? They’re hard. Boob job is hanging all over Jackie.

But hey, Jackie’s not looking for a love connection. When she’s drinking, Jackie will flirt with anything with a uterus.

Clearing the air — Doug and Jesse haven’t talked to each other all night. Finally, Jesse asks Doug to go out back with him to talk. Doug suddenly doesn’t want to, even though he’s been more upset about their tiff all along.

Jesse persists, and he and Doug finally sit down to talk. Jesse apologizes (finally) and wants to go back to how things were. Doug says he’s sorry too. Doug looks like he’s going to cry. Again.

Jesse: Don’t cry. Don’t cry on my behalf.
Doug: Wanna go home with me?
Jesse: No.
Doug: I’m flirting with you. C’mon. I’m just joking, jeez.
Jesse: No.
Doug: OK, wait. Are you a top or a bottom?

Doug is a little weird.

Meanwhile, back in the house, Jackie is complaining she needs a spotter to help her with her workouts. Brian offers for Jackie to "come on over to Peelerville." Jackie rolls her eyes and says she’d rather train with a "real" body builder. The gauntlet has been thrown.

Brian: What’s your body going to be when it grows up?

The group gasps.

Jackie: [to everyone] No, it’s OK. I’ve like only built my whole empire and hired you [pointing to Brian] on my body.

Ooh. Snap.

Jackie: You’re basically riding on my f—ing abs.
Brian: My talent has nothing to do with your body.
Jackie: Your job has to do with my abs.

Why don’t you two just whip ‘em out? I’ll get a tape measure.

Brian drags poor Andre outside to listen to his anti-Jackie rant. It looks like they’re standing by the garbage cans. Brian goes off on how he doesn’t need Jackie to make him or break him. But the real reason he’s fuming is that she belittled him in front of strangers.

Brian: Don’t make me look like a fool. I’m brilliant. I know what I do. It’s like I always say, "These hands are like the hands of Michelangelo." And the f—ing work. They can make a masterpiece out of everything they f—ing touch.

Andre keeps looking for a way out, but he’s blocked by a fence. The area is too small for Brian and his ego.

Brian works himself into such a froth that he walks out of the party. Mr. Sensitive, Doug, tries to get Brian to come back into the house, but Brian keeps walking down the street and disappears around the corner.

Back inside, Jackie’s flirting with Rebecca in full view of the other trainers, because there isn’t enough drama at the gym.

Jackie keeps saying she doesn’t see Rebecca "that way," but she says it as she wraps her arms around her. Jackie’s also fond of lifting Rebecca up off the floor every now and then. Rebecca rests her head in the cozy spot under Jackie’s neck. Zen and Andre look scandalized.

Jackie has her arms completely enveloping Rebecca when she says she wouldn’t dream of "it" because Rebecca works for her, and she’s a good girl. Jackie’s friend adds, "And she’s straight."

Oh yeah. There’s that too, huh? These two are so going to hook up. If it’s the worst possible choice, Jackie will make it.

Next week on Work Out: A bunch of stuff happens, I think. All I can see is Jackie making out with Rebecca. Oh, my eyes.

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