A good cause â€” That evening, the Sky Sport staff joins Jackie at the dinner, where they’ve donated training sessions to the auction. Jackie arrives with her date, Jesse, whose nostrils are now as smooth and fresh as a baby’s bottom. Zen and Erika come together, while the rest of the gang brings up the rear. Everyone’s in black except Rebecca, who’s wearing a full-length brown, white and yellow mess. Gregg has a jaunty cap on. Los Angeles must be rubbing off on North Carolina native Brian, because he’s wearing a hot pink tie.
They all pose for press pictures because they’re reality TV stars now. But it’s Jackie and Jesse who get the most attention for some reason. The others feel a little dissed.
Rebecca: [to the group] Jesse is so strapping it on. Or no, Jackie’s strapping it on Jesse.
Heh. I like Rebecca.
Jackie has sprung for a suite in the hotel to hang out in before the event, and everyone gets a good buzz on before dinner. It’s not long before the interview feud between Doug and Jesse comes up in conversation, thanks to that old troublemaker, Brian.
Doug defends his AfterElton.com comments by saying Jack was his favorite character on Will & Grace; it was meant as a compliment. Jesse’s still harping on his "butch is better than queen" theory. Jackie pours herself another drink. Everyone else is completely silent, mostly because they’re all straight and have no idea what’s going on. The longer Jesse rants about "creating segregation" and not fighting the same fight, Doug looks like he’s going to cry.
Doug: Not only would you not accept my two apologies, then you go and do this nasty, nasty interview. Why would you do that?
Jesse: I admit that I did not take the high road in that situation. I just talked about what happened, and I was done with it. And I’m done.
Jackie says she doesn’t need all the infighting, even though a mere six hours ago, she was all about laughing at Doug over beers with her pet. Can’t we all just get along?
Sweet Zen suggests that at some point, you have to let it go. But she’s talking to Jesse. "Let it go" doesn’t exist in this particular man’s vocabulary.
The torturous "happy hour" is finally over, and everyone goes downstairs to dinner. The lights go down for a video presentation. I hate when they do that â€” I can never see how much salt I’m putting on my rubber chicken.
During the presentation, Jackie is surprised to see her mother on the big screen in a scene from last season. She takes a big swig from her martini glass. The scene the organizers have chosen to show was from an argument Jackie and her Mormon mother had about the evils of gay relationships and how it will never be normal in her mother’s eyes. Jackie looks like she wants to slide under the table and die.
The lights come up, and there’s a smattering of applause. Jackie claps politely as she looks around for someone from the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center to throttle.
At the silent auction portion of the evening, lots of money is raised, which Jackie rightly reminds herself was the point of the evening. She’s introduced to the winner of the donated training sessions and it makes her feel like the evening was worth it. Tell that to Doug.
Clarity â€” For the first time I can recall, they actually show Jackie working out. I could be wrong; my memory isn’t what it used to be. She’s clearing her mind because later that day, she has a therapy session with Mimi.
In therapy, Mimi and Jackie sit next to each other on the couch. The therapist asks simply, "What brings you to therapy?" which makes Mimi and Jackie glance sideways at each other and laugh. Personally, I’m thinking it was Bravo.
Jackie says again it’s about learning how to communicate. They agree they argue about 80 percent of the time. This relationship can not be saved. What is holding these two together?
Therapist: How’s the sex?
Jackie: [looking at Mimi] What are you laughing about?
Mimi: It’s great.
Therapist: [to Jackie] Would you agree?
Jackie: Yeah, I do agree.
Jackie: Sad but true.
Therapist: Well, there’s nothing wrong â€¦ Do you think that’s part of the reason of what keeps you guys together?
Jackie: It’s like mind-blowing.
Now I get it.
Mimi and Jackie immediately start hurling accusations. You scream. No, you scream. We all scream for ice cream. They read each other’s emails. They won’t let each other talk. It’s a train wreck. Finally, Jackie says she feels hatred. Check please.
The therapist, Dr. Obvious, says, "Your communication is awful." She asks what they like about each other. It’s met with silence. Twenty minutes into their first session and Jackie starts to cry, saying quietly, "I’m tired." Mimi comforts her.
Tears turn to anger and Jackie shouts exasperatedly, "You never let me speak!" Mimi gets up and storms out. That went well.
Next week: Zen has a slumber party, Jackie enjoys the L.A. nightlife, and someone finally acknowledges that Erika looks like Angelina Jolie.