We’re Getting Nowhere: “America’s Next Top Model” Episode 9.8

This most recent ANTM came perilously close to becoming a Very Special Episode. Not because of the guest appearance by Enrique Iglesias (sans mole), or Tyra’s questionable channeling of Debbie Allen circa 1980. No, it was something far more sinister.

In making her music video debut as a sexy undead girl, Heather almost did some method acting. It seems that the poor dear forgot to eat, much to the consternation of us all (well, everyone except for Bianca) and the paramedics were rushed in to nurse her back to health.

• Why kneepads are essential accessories for all models
• How much we still love Lisa (even if she can’t come back up from a deep knee bend)
• Why Heather’s continued success is so very frustratin’ to some of the other contestants

In contrast, this week was a Very Special Episode of We’re Getting Nowhere, but in a good way. We welcomed two very special guestbians – care to guess their secret identities?

Also, in another We’re Getting Nowhere bonus feature, we’ll see an exclusive AfterEllen.com interview with the “lost” ANTM contestants, Loquacious, Lorelai and Natalia.

We sure did enjoy our journalistic integrity while we had it!

 

It was all so very dramatic! Can’t you see how our faces were riddled with concern?

In addition to Heather’s weakened state, this week we discuss:

• Why kneepads are essential accessories for all models
• How much we still love Lisa (even if she can’t come back up from a deep knee bend)
• Why Heather’s continued success is so very frustratin’ to some of the other contestants

In contrast, this week was a Very Special Episode of We’re Getting Nowhere, but in a good way. We welcomed two very special guestbians – care to guess their secret identities?

Also, in another We’re Getting Nowhere bonus feature, we’ll see an exclusive AfterEllen.com interview with the “lost” ANTM contestants, Loquacious, Lorelai and Natalia.

We sure did enjoy our journalistic integrity while we had it!