Previously on Wentworth, Governor Joan killed Simone because she was trying to kill Bea because Governor Joan has an endgame that is bigger than any of us. Maxine the transgender inmate used her swinging fists of justice to protect Bea, and Franky was arrested for defending herself against a rapist.
This week, Joan has Doreen’s garden bulldozed as punishment for the prisoners using it as a drug/blowjob exchange program.
MY KALE, MY PRECIOUS KALE.
No one is more upset about this than Doreen, who lost her project, her boyfriend, and presumably her pet magpie. She visits Frankie in her isolation cell to let her know that she blames her for all ninety-nine of her problems.
Also this week, Maxine gets her own storyline, which makes me a bit nervous given how poorly her trans identity was handled before. She’s all aflutter because her boyfriend is visiting (the same boyfriend she stabbed with a pair of scissors) and she’s even getting her wig done to celebrate.
While Bea is trying to improve upon Maxine’s ‘do, Frankie comes up to offer her condolences about Simone’s death. Bea doesn’t want to hear it, since she found Simone dead with a syringe-full of Frankie’s pink heroine still in her arm. When she hears that, Frankie’s mental tires screech, because she never actually sold any of the distinctive pink heroine (she was busy stabbing a man in the genitals at the time). Her curiosity piqued, Frankie puts her formidable cognitive powers to the test and embarks upon a quest for The Pink Pusher.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A CASE FOR FANNY BANDIT, PRISON DETECTIVE.
Her first stop is Boomer, since she was the one caught with the gear. But of course, Booms would rather die than betray Frankie, so Liz points out that Fletch made a beeline for it in Boomer’s cell, almost like he know where it was. Liz is playing a dangerous game here, because he did know where it was because she herself TOLD HIM. Anyway, Liz floats the theory that Fletch has been dealing/using on the side, since has been looking a little scruffier than usual.
This is true; he’s got two days worth of beard growing in and he is more transphobic than ever towards Maxine. He makes her mop up some vomit (which, granted, is within his rights as a prison guard) but then throws the mop handle in her face when she refuses. Vera intercedes, as usual, and tries to repair the damage to Maxine’s face in time for her visitor.
One of the best scenes of the episode is Frankie meeting with her attorney over the stabbing incident. It features the fantastic lines:
Frankie: It was self-defense.
Attorney: You stuck a garden fork in a man’s genitals.
Frankie: Yeah, that’s the bit I was defending myself from.
She quotes like 15 pages of the law at him and then fires him for being an incompetent moron who isn’t even on her side.
In the visitors’ lounge, Maxine searches anxiously for her boyfriend, but instead finds that his brother is here in his stead. The brother, who actually seems like a pretty decent chap, breaks the news that Maxine’s boyfriend is in New Zealand and won’t be back until her trial. She is desperate to see him, since apparently her love for him survived their altercation.
Maxine isn’t the only one getting a visitor; do you guys remember Toni, Kaya’s mom from season one? Well she’s here, looking like an advertisement for Crest Whitestrips™
MOM DISCOVERS ONE WEIRD TRICK TO LOOK YOUNGER: STOP DOING HEROIN
She’s actually pretty cute now. She’s smuggled in something for Dor, and I know before seeing it that it’s a pregnancy test. Of course, she is pregnant and the other prisoners vow to rally around her and keep the secret, at least until Nash gets out on parole. This storyline would be a lot more interesting if it weren’t copied word for word from OITNB.
While Doreen waits to see if she and Nash have created a baby bird of their very own, we return to Joan’s golden light-bathed fencing lessons.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR METAPHORICAL ADVICE.
Some questions about this:
1. Why is the light here different than anywhere else? Has Joan monopolized all the pretty light on the show and left the prisoners with that blue-filtered crap? That would be just like her.
2. Who the fuck is this fencing instructor and who are all her silent opponents? Real people? Memories of her father?
3. Why do the writers think we need these constant updates on Joan’s state of mind couched in fencing jargon? Why can’t they just tell us a little bit about her actual backstory?
Whatever; today’s lesson is “strike while your opponent is down” which has never been a problem for Joan in the past.