It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly a year since we last saw Carmilla, Laura, LaFontaine and the rest of the Silas crew. Laura is still broadcasting, but is anyone listening after being stuck in the mystical library for months? Things are still tense between Carmilla and Laura, after that whole Laura betraying Carmilla and getting her sister killed, and everything.
What hasn’t changed? LaFontaine’s hair is still super on fleek.
So we pick up with Laura vlogging (can’t stop, won’t stop) and explaining the wacky few months she, Carm and LaF have spent living in the sentient library. The library remains a mystery, but we do know this: it’s excellent at making cupcakes and loves throwing heavy objects at Carmilla.
Laura admits that’s she’s pretty brokenhearted still, and living with your ex in a library under duress with no fresh vegetables doesn’t help. Oh, did I mention there’s an ever-changing portal to another dimension in the library? Hellscapes, Nordic winter scenes, angry shrimp…it’s all there. At least LaF has figured out a code so they can find a shower. Well as if feisty crustaceans weren’t enough, there’s also this:
Perry, well, the Dean is back and in full force. Silas University is now basically only offering forced labor for college credit. (Annie Briggs is so chillingly perfect as the Dean, that you can’t wait until she pops up again to wreak havoc.) When the Dean pops in with her broadcast, it’s the first time that Carm, Laura and LaF learn that Perry has been possessed. While Carmilla lets loose with a string of expletives that would give your grandma the vapors, Laura and LaF are beside themselves at this revelation.
While Carmilla wants deadly revenge, Laura is rethinking all this bravado of the past year. Perhaps it’s time to take a step back from tossing oneself into the jaws of danger? Nah. Suddenly all the water in the library turns to blood, which, ew. Carmilla is happy until she tastes it and it’s all ancient and gross. Blood, blood everywhere and not a drop to drink! It’s not the library up to its tricks, though-the Dean has opened another gate to hell. Well shit.
After LaF and Carmilla spend some time working on theories, the Library delivers a gift to Laura. It’s a pair of glasses that allows the gang to read and translate mystical runes that encircle the door to other dimensions. The runes are a message giving them a clue as to how to stop the Dean-The Book of Lives. There’s also a bird sigel, but we’ll get to that soon enough.
So, where do we find the Book of Lives? In self-help? Non-fiction? While LaF runs off to figure out the bird sigel sitch, Carmilla and Laura are forced to actually talk to each other instead of gaze at each other with longing and heartache. Laura is opting out of the whole killing the Dean thing, which surprises Carmilla. Where’s the spunky, brave beyond measure Laura we all know and love? Before we can answer that, the ex-girlfriends become a threesome they did not anticipate. The Dean (aka Perry, aka Carmilla’s mother and maker) breaks into their secure channel.
In a strange turn of events, the Dean offers Laura and Carmilla a truce. Laura thinks it sounds like a dandy idea, but once the Dean disconnects, Carmilla suggests that the Dean isn’t doing this out of the kindness of her leathery heart. The gang is on to something, and the Dean is scared. So much for that truce, cupcake.
Just then, LaF runs down the stairs with a key piece of info. The sigel is that of the Owl Lady who was on the Silas board. She was apparently an oracle and foresaw the useless lesbian vampire and her human lover as having the only real chance to stop the Dean. Laura warns Carmilla that there’s no going back if she seeks out a way to stop the Dean, but that doesn’t faze Carm. What does faze her, however, is the fact that the library is currently going nuts because the Dean has figured out how to mess with it. The library. Is. pissed.
The dimension door is shifting like crazy, which LaF surmises is an effort to get away from the Dean. One of the new dimensions, a red room full of knives (how cozy) keeps showing up, so must be showtime. The glasses reveal the book they need is in that room, so Carm is ready to jump in, but Laura isn’t about to let her go without a list of objections. Naturally when Laura says, “Carmilla, no!” Carmilla is all about the yes. She dives into the room of knives and disappears.
Laura stress-cleans while LaF gets their bag packed for a trip to the room of knives. You kind of have to love their reckless heroism and dedication to their friends. They also read Laura like a book and give her some insight into herself that even Laura wasn’t aware of. It all still boils down to Laura being terrified to lose Carmilla. Hammer on nail, LaF.
LaF heads into the room with their trusty backpack and latex gloves, while Laura makes the Library shine like a new penny. Err, loonie. After what feels like an eternity, LaF and Carmilla return, with all of their limbs and the Book of Lives. For her trouble, Carmilla gets a giant hug, and the former girlfriends start a weird flirty back and forth thing. LaF is not amused, so they run upstairs to get to researchin’.
That leaves Laura and Carmilla alone to deal with their “squishy feelings” and a new announcement from the Dean. The Dean has a message about defiance, and it’s not going to be pretty, Creampuffs.
We’ll be back later this week with a recap of Carmilla episodes 6-10.
