Michelle Paradise’s “Exes & Ohs” Video Blog: Episode 3

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Due to technical difficulties, Michelle was unable to complete her Exes & Ohs video blog this week, so she sent me a written version instead. Don’t worry, she’s just as cute and rambly when she writes as she is when she talks, but Michelle will be back with her regularly scheduled video blog programming next week.

Greetings
Hi everyone! And greetings from someplace in the Pacific Ocean … I’m writing this episode 3 blog from the Olivia cruise ship. Sadly we’ve had some technical difficulties with the video blogs I filmed and sent in from New York. Normally, they’d be easy to re-send for posting — but there’s that little matter of floating around in the middle of nowhere and relying on satellites to connect me to the Internet … satellites which are slow enough to allow you to eat an entire meal between the time you hit the enter button and the time a page actually finishes loading. You could probably also do the dishes. Fortunately, on a cruise ship, they don’t make you do your own dishes. But you get the point.

The Video Blog You Missed
That said, you’re missing out on what I’m sure was a thrilling 3rd installment. You would have seen me drop my water bottle on a grate in Times Square, answer questions from the comfort of my hotel bed (get your minds out of the gutter; I was fully clothed), and wonder aloud about the purpose of the padded headboard, which was made to look like a Renaissance painting complete with gilded gold frame. Though to be fair, I suppose if I have to wonder about the purpose of a padded headboard designed to look like a Renaissance painting in a gilded gold frame, perhaps I’m not the target audience for such a headboard.

Like I said, I’m sure it was a thrilling video blog…

But instead, you’ll have to make due with a written version. I’ll try to keep the rambling spirit of the originals by promising you, AfterEllen.com’s faithful readers, that I will not do the writerly thing and go back and edit this piece so it sounds more sparkly, interesting, or grammatically correct. And I promise that next week’s installment will actually be a video blog, even if I have to fly back to New York to film it in the AfterEllen.com offices. Knowing my luck, I’d arrive during lunch hour — but I’d persevere.

Okay, all of that said … here we go …

The Episode 3 Story
I’ll start this the way I’ve been starting the video blogs, with a little story about episode 3. As you may remember, much of the episode took place in a bowling alley. Well, what you can’t tell from watching the show is that it was pouring rain while we were shooting. POURING. As in so much rain that if you went outside without galoshes, your feet would be soaked in seconds. As in so much rain that umbrellas were basically useless. As in so much rain that the taptaptaptaptaptapping of it on the skylight was so loud that it interrupted filming. Someone had to take care of it. Someone had to be our superhero for the day … and that someone turned out to be several someones from the crew. I noticed that the sound had nearly gone away and when I looked back up at the skylight, that’s when I saw them up on the roof covering the skylight with a huge tarp. (Remember the part about how much it was raining? Yeah, they were out there in the middle of it!) They were troopers and went way beyond the call of duty … and thanks to them, you got to see bowling scenes free from an annoying taptaptaptap in the background.

Ta da! The episode 3 story!!!

Okay, well, there are probably a million other stories I could tell, but let’s make sure this doesn’t turn into War and Peace

YOUR QUESTIONS … ANSWERED!

From: RELvoxballroom
Re: Whether the cast hangs out after shooting

Well, RELvoxballroom (may I call you “Vox?”), let me start by saying that yours was the question I was in the process of answering when I dropped my water bottle in Times Square. No connection between your question and the subsequent water-bottle-droppage, but I thought you might like to know that. Anyhow, Vox, on to your question … Yes, many of the cast members hung out together after shooting. They’d get dinner or do stuff on the weekends, which was nice because not everyone was familiar with Vancouver. Some people even stayed in touch after we wrapped and have hung out together since then because they’ve become friends in real life. Isn’t that sweet? Yeah, I know, it’s a bit saccharine-sounding, but it’s true …

From: weirfan
Re: Fanfiction for the show

Um, hi weirfan, my name is Michelle Paradise and I am tragically un-hip and un-cool (insert chorus of “Hi Michelle’s” here). This explains why I’m not familiar with some of the basics in life, like how to use a Mac, whether these shoes go with this outfit, and how fanfiction works — or, really, what it is. Well, okay, I can make some pretty good guesses … that it’s fiction written by fans of a show (thus the term fanfiction), but I didn’t know anyone had written anything about Exes & Ohs. Hey, that’s neat! (wait, “neat”??? … see my first statement about being un-hip and un-cool … and on a sidenote, if I ever resort to saying that something is “the bee’s knees,” please put me out of my misery). That said, I’m really happy to hear that fanfiction writers are enjoying Exes & Ohs and getting fodder for their stories — so thank you for letting me know!!!

From: Flower4
Re: If being in Seattle and having to wear a sweater made me itchy

Well, Seattle in and of itself doesn’t make me itchy … and sweaters don’t make me itchy unless they’re wool … Actually, what usually makes me itchy is a rash. I’ve never gotten a bad one — except for the time I got hives for seemingly no reason, and that was pretty uncomfortable — but other than that I’ve never had a bad rash. And even though wool sweaters make me itchy, I still own them and wear them. I’m quite a fan of the mighty sweater … probably one of the reasons fall is my favorite season. That and the fact that leaves look really pretty when they change colors. Not that you’d know about leaves changing color if you live in Los Angeles (typically, trees are green all year and then one day they turn brown and most of the leaves drop off, but by then the other leaves are already growing green again). And yes, Paradise is my real last name. And yes, this was an incredibly rambly answer but, as promised, I’m not going back to edit it and make myself look better.

From: moviegrl
Re: If we’ll get more background for the characters in the future

Yes, yes, yes! In fact, there’s some interesting background info on the Chris and Kris characters coming up in the next episode (so stay tuned). And on a sidenote, thank you for asking! ?

From: Hope, and ufos_are_real
Re: If Beever Café t-shirts will be made

You’re not the first two people to bring this up, so I’ve let the good folks at Logo know that both of you — along with a few people you’ve never met, and a few Beings From Other Worlds — have been asking about t-shirts. The Logo folks said something about the first batch being stolen by the BFOWs, who were understandably impatient after their long trip across the galaxy and just couldn’t bear to wait any longer for their Beever shirts. We don’t hold it against them (in my opinion, anything that will promote the show is a good thing, even if the Exes & Ohs video signal won’t reach them for another five thousand years …). I’ll keep you posted on the possibility of shirts for the rest of us … but in the meantime, just a friendly reminder that if there’s ever anything you want that’s related to a Logo show, they’d love to hear from you at www.logoonline.com.

From: Renee
Re: If I’m ever worried that someone I know will be offended if I use a semi-real situation in a script

Excellent question … Well, let me start by saying that much of what you see on screen doesn’t come from actual situations at all; rather, most material comes from the characters themselves and where they are in their lives. There are times, though, when a real situation makes its way into a script because it’s just the right thing for the character. But in those cases, I’m incredibly careful to fictionalize the material in a way that’s appropriate. I’d never want my friends or family — or anyone else’s friends or family — to have to worry about seeing their lives on screen.

From: mg23
Re: Feeling guilty when my breakfast got cold

You should feel guilty, mg23. If it weren’t for you, I’d have enjoyed a hot breakfast. But because of you, my eggs got cold; and as you pointed out, cold eggs are terrible. So I didn’t eat them. And that made me blood-sugar-challenged, which caused me to pass out while driving, which caused me to run into a fire hydrant, which then got me arrested for reckless driving and damage to public property, and at the moment I’m writing this not from the Olivia cruise (I lied) but from the basement of a Seattle jail, where I can still hear foghorns and boat horns and seagulls, and where I now find myself dreaming of cold eggs in spite of myself …

Until Next Time …
Okay, well that’s probably plenty. Thanks for reading — and I hope you appreciated the thoughtful and handy-dandy headers to let you skip around easily. Until next time, have a great week!!

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