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“Venice” recap (4.8): Sacred Hokey Pokey

Gina, near death on account of Lara unceremoniously mowing her down, shows up in heaven’s waiting room. Waiting for her is a concerned Owen. They embrace and Gina tells her little bro how nothing has been the same since he died. Damn straight, Gina. Owen asks the angel if Gina is officially dead, and he tells them no, it’s up to Gina to make that call. Owen tries to shuffle her back to the land of the living, but Gina protests. She’s rather fond of the gauzy curtains and twinkle lights. In fact, she might just stick around.

Meanwhile, Gina’s family is holding their breath at the hospital, not knowing Gina’s fate. The Colonel tries to put on a brave face for everyone, but even he is beginning to crumble. At the police station, Det. Brandon is staring at his computer screen, trying to make clues appear or find the picture of the kitten in the Best of the ’90s Stereograms post on Buzzfeed.

Ani is in a bit of a daze, and trying to flee the hospital because shit was getting too real. Logan pulls up and asks her if Gina is ok. Ani’s car is at the scene of the accident and Logan offers to take her. Ani just walks away because Logan is the worst. Also, Logan is kind of evil/awesome.

Owen is trying every tactic to get Gina to ease on down back to earth. There is even a waterside. A waterside, people. She asks for a drink, and as it turns out, heaven’s waiting room has an open bar. Side note: For the free chicken wings, you have to pass through the pearly gates.

Logan gets out of the car and stops Ani. Ani confesses that she thinks that she’s the reason Gina got hit. Logan asks her if she loves and wants to be with Gina, and if so, when is she going to leave Lara. Ani is left speechless by Logan’s directness. Logan then delivers what is the verbal equivalent to a bitch slap. She tells Ani that she hates women like her. Women who make a mess of their lives and take everyone else down with them. Logan suggests that instead of being a whirling dervish of emotional destruction that Ani march back into the hospital and be there for Gina. Ani questions Logan’s motives and Logan casually admits she has her own reasons for wanting Gina alive. Like destroying her and stuff. As Ani walks away, Logan wonders aloud what Gina sees in Ani. Her face softens to reveal that she is actually concerned about Gina.

The angel brings Gina a big fat martini, with a little umbrella, natch. He explains that she is kind of in-between worlds at the moment. A sacred hokey pokey, if you will. Time is running out for her to decide what to do, but decisions are hard when the vodka is cold and just the right amount of dirty. Owen continues to beg her to go back, but Gina counters with the fact that no one needs her down there anyway.

Down where everyone needs Gina, Katherine and the Colonel have a little heart to heart. I feel a few sparks between these two, I’m just saying. Katherine gives the Colonel her well wishes for Gina’s recovery and they speak briefly about children and how much damn trouble they are. Katherine is mega rich and “knows” some people and offers to pull a few strings for Gina. The Colonel is grateful and as a small gift of his own, tells Katherine that her boyfriend Alan is real scumbag.

Back at Ani’s house, Jake is blessedly not around. Lara is starting to lose it however, aggressively pouring out her remaining bottles of booze, and cursing Gina’s name.

Det. Brandon, living romance novel cover art, is rubbing his chiseled face. He (sexily, of course) pours some sugar in his coffee and plays through the surveillance footage from the night of Owen’s murder. Suddenly he notices something on the tape. Sammie wasn’t acting alone. She had help from someone. Brandon now knows who that someone was.

While this heavenly family reunion is a real blast, Gina is running out of time. She realizes that the angel is actually Teddy, Katherine’s late husband. He shares the Colonel’s distaste for Alan. He tells Gina that she has a choice, something precious that not everyone gets. Owen decides to try a new tactic; good old reverse psychology. He tells Gina that she’s right, everyone will be fine without her. Ani, Sarah, Guya, the Colonel, the whole damn lot. Gina knows what he’s doing but it does help shock her system. Owen finally admits that if Gina goes back, he gets to move on to the big, soap opera soundstage in the sky for real. Teddy the angel promises to look after Owen if Gina leaves.

At the hospital, the Colonel tells everyone they should get some shut eye, but no one wants to go. Ani busts in and insists on seeing Gina. The Colonel tells her no, but Ani gets all tough and insists. Sarah jumps up and offers to accompany her, like a Victoria chaperone on a walk through the estate gardens.

Gina makes the tough call to go back to earth. Owen tells her to stay longer when it’s actually her time. Before she leaves, Owen splits a lemon pie with her. They take tearful bites, knowing this will be the last time they see each other for quite some time. As Gina leaves, he tells her to give ’em hell. He also gives her a piece of heavenly gossip. Hell isn’t real. Now walk into the light Gina.

Back in her body on earth, Gina begins to stir. Ani, Sarah, Guya and the Colonel all watch from around her bedside.

Owen is pleased with himself for convincing Gina to go back home. He truthfully wanted her to stay. The angel tells him he will finally be let in to heaven, and it’s time to get his afterlife on. Goodbye Owen. We’ll miss you.

Ani and Sarah hover over Gina as she tries to speak. She manages to tell them (or perhaps just Ani) to leave her alone. Gina is back!

What did you think of this week’s Venice: The Series?

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