I never really know what I can say here, so I guess I'll go with the flow. I'm not really what you can call an out lesbian, I s'pose, since I'm not exactly out to most of my family, with the exception of my little sister (I was in my last year in college, when I went on a holiday with my family to Monaco. That's when I came out to my sister as bi, and that's when she told me about the bullying in school. Felt pretty bad about that. I had graduated high school, and was still trying to deny, deny, deny, that part of me). Denied it so much I got me a boyfriend, first and absolutely, the last time that happened, lol. Three or four of my cousins know, and that's pretty much it. I went through a phase that I thought maybe I was bisexual, and was pretty okay accepting that. But then y'know, time went on, and, I just found more reasons to love the women, not more reasons to hate the men. If anything, I have the best guy friends in the world, a tad on the perverted side, but I wouldn't have them any other way.
The rest of my family... Is not going to be easy.

I s'pose I shouldn't forget to mention that I am from a tiny little country in South-East Asia. A Malay woman, therefore a Muslim woman. So you would kind of see my dilemma in the whole... Having anything to do with girls whatsoever there. Plus, it's a really small country, and I have the biggest fear that I'll end up hooking up with a distant relative. And as a hypothetical thought, that's already a major cringe session, I'd hate to find out if it became a reality.
I tried telling my mother once (while I was in the bi thing), and obviously she didn't kill me for it. But, she pretty much thought I lost my way, and hopes that someday I'll go back on the right path. Which I am, though I think it's probably not the "right" path she meant. My sister has told me that she asks sometimes whether I'm still bi or whatever, and actually asked one time whether my ex was my girlfriend at the time (apparently looking completely devastated during that whole little conversation). She never approached me about it, and I think it's going to be awhile before I approach her with this.

I'm in the UK now. I've been here for almost seven years, going to college (in Brighton), and university (in London), so I've had more freedom to be out and about. More opportunities to explore this part of myself that I couldn't before, to learn things I never, to behave more openly. Eye-opener I tell ya. I love every single second of it (well, except the times when I got my heart broken, that wasn't very much fun). And I don't know how I'm going to leave it in two years time.

I've had my heart broken quite alot. Wait, I shouldn't say broken, maybe "cracked", alot. I've had it really broken in that sense of I can't breathe, I think I'm going to die, kind of broken, once. When you lose your first love, I guess it's always going to be like that. It took me more than a year to get over it. But not completely, just enough so I could move on. Which I did, and have. I'm in a great relationship right now with one of the most amazing woman I've ever encountered. So, that's the light in this dark life of mine.

Well, that's enough of that. Let's talk about me on something else.
I'm sort of a writer. I'm more of a poet, it's weird to say 'cause I've never really met anybody who just introduces themselves as a poet. I do love to write though. I'm somewhat of a religious blogger, I blog when I can.
I love photography. I've got two cameras now, a Canon PowerShot A620, and a Canon Digital SLR EOS400D. I hate taking pictures of myself though, and I only ever do when I need to update people on how I look like currently, lol. I take either camera with me, wherever I go. And I take a notebook with me as well.
Another thing that goes with me wherever, is my mp3 player. There is no way, I'll ever leave anywhere without it. I grew up with my mum singing me to sleep, and my dad singing to his karaoke. I just love music. I love that it can make me think, move, cry, laugh, and whatever else.
And if I have space in my bag for it, I'll have a book ready for me to read it. I'm currently on a Chuck Palahniuk phase, and I'm enjoying the hell out of it. And I would love any recommendations headed my way.

I'm not a completely good person, as I am not a completely bad one. I am completely loyal to my friends, fiercely protective over them, and I would crawl over hot fire for them. I love to discuss almost anything with anyone, but I'm more of a listener/watcher. But I do love making people laugh/smile, almost nothing could top the feeling of accomplishing that. I can be sarcastic, I guess. Some friends tell me I'm cynical, but I know I'm not. I still have some little hope and faith that things will get better. Eventually.