So, I was cleaning the hair out of my shower drain the other day when I had the realization that it was absolutely crucial for me to get an AfterEllen account. I began to think about what to write for this here Bio but got so distracted by my peeling sunburn that I didn't get around to it until today.

Anyway, enough about my burn and more about me: a good twenty years ago I was gracefully and elegantly pushed from my mother's womb to emerge into a world of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. I grew up to be an agile, charming young cherub who sang and danced with the birds and Bambis of dense forests, all the while naively oblivious to the Big Bad Wolf behind the tree over yonder.

Alright, fine. None of that is true, I was brutally forced out of my mother's womb via C-Section where there were no roses, kittens, kettles or mittens. If I remember correctly, the hospital room was quite sparsely decorated and far too bland for my eccentric and far-fetched tastes. I actually grew up to be a clumsy, animated young brat who dug holes to China and was pro-star at hide-and-go-seek. And frankly, I relate to the Big Bad Wolf far better than this little girl who sings with birds and rabbits and deer...

But, please, do tell me about yourself.