“Two and a Half Men” recap (11.1): The Sun is Calling You An Alcoholic

 
 

Downstairs, Alan is on the phone with his mother. He’s gleefully telling her that she is a grandmother. When Jenny and Walden come down, Alan offers to show Jenny her (dead) Dad. Alan keeps Charlie’s urn in the liquor cabinet as an homage to her father’s life and loves. While attempting to deliver a poetic eulogy, Alan trips and spills Charlie’s ashes all over Charles’s daughter. Jenny takes shots with the housekeeper. Evelyn arrives to meet her new granddaughter and immediately offers Jenny a makeover and a place to stay.

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Alan insists Jenny stay with him, in Walden’s house (where he is leaching) out of spite for his domineering mother. Jenny runs off. Walden, Alan, and Grandma Evelyn drive around searching for Jenny until they find her at a bus stop.

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Jenny explains that she already has one fucked up family; she can’t handle another one. Alan and his mother feign normal affection and beg Jenny to stay and get to know them. She agrees on the condition of a cocktail and the whole happy family go to a bar.

Jenny: (pointing to a door) So, is that the bathroom where the miracle of my life began?

Alan: It is.

While Walden shows Jenny her place of conception, Alan is appalled to hear his mother intends to leave Jenny her vast financial estate. An estate that the penny pinching Alan is dying to get his hands on. Jenny and Walden sit down and a hot brunette with mad cleavage asks to take their order.

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Jenny, looking devious, asks for a designated driver to take them home. Beautiful waitress with waves of ebony hair offers which, FYI, does not happen in real life at bars.

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Back home sexy waitress ooohs and ahhs over Walden’s Malibu beach house. Now that I’ve gotten a good look at her outfit, I know 100% that there are too many straight men working on this show. That denim cut off skirt was cute for teenager girls in 2006 on Laguna Beach: The Real OC. That doesn’t mean it’s cute in Malibu or anywhere else now, especially for a cute waitress around LA. And WTF is that tie dye spaghetti strap tank with pink lace detail? Limited Too must be pissed at CBS for aging their look.

Cute Waitress: What a view!
Jenny: It’s even better from the bedroom—want to see?
Cute Waitress: Yeah!

She trots up the stairs but when Walden turns to follow, Jenny stops him.

Jenny: What are you doing?
Walden: Showing her the view?
Jenny: (condescendingly) Awwww, you thought she was for you? HA. No, no, no. She’s mine. [winks] Next time I’ll get two.

…and skips up the stairs toward her potential conquest. Beautiful.

The next morning in the kitchen, Walden bitches to Alan about having to sleep in the guest room to accommodate Jenny’s Hook up. He wants her out.

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Jenny comes into the kitchen with Cutie, who is wearing only black lingerie. “I’m surprised I can talk,” Jenny observes while massaging her jawbone and grabbing water bottles. Walden plaintively watches his newfound foe leave with the object of his desire and that odious theme song indicates that while the episode may be over, the shenanigans have only begun.

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