"Glee" Episode 217 Recap: Vicious, Vicious Words

Dear Glee,

While you were gone, I was faithful and true. I watched old episodes on my DVR. I got into heated debates on Twitter about where the season was going from here. I waxed passionate with friends who do not watch Glee, explaining why it was really as good as its popularity would indicate, despite the plot holes and stuff.

I don't regret my devotion, dearest Glee, but I do regret the hour I spent watching "Night of Neglect," or rather, I regret slightly less than one hour because there were a few minutes that were worth the wait.

I hope, my beloved little show, that next week lives up to the expectations raised by the preview for a ninety minute episode with Kurt wearing an adorable hat, because otherwise, darlingest Gleester, our love may be put to a terrible test.

Yours devotedly… etc.

Okay, was last night's episode that bad? Yeah, it kind of was. Not bad, perhaps, so much as boring. And a strain.

It turns out Sue hid the Cheerio's budget that was supposed to go to the Glee Club to send them to New York in the Cayman Islands, so they need to raise $5,000 for the trip to New York City for Nationals.

While they're scheming on how to raise the money – Mr. Schuester wants to do it by selling saltwater taffy, until Santana sets him straight – Mike Chang stands up and does a diva-esque walk-out.

It turns out he, Artie, Tina and Brittany belong to an academic club called The Brainiacs, and they went on the Smartypants show and won, largely due to Brittany's encyclopedic knowledge of cat diseases.

Mike is pissed off because his fellow Glee Clubbers are all wrapped up in their own problems and don't care about the Brainiacs' woes. Specifically, they can't advance to the next level of smartness competition, to be held in Detroit, without enough money to send the club there.

Hmmmm; is there some kind of word for when you make up a new thing that didn't exist before and we never, ever heard about and now it's a big deal because you needed it to make some point you wanted to make and couldn't figure out how to make with your existing huge cast and complicated web of inter-related plots and characters?

Oh, yeah. "Plot device."

Although it's all worth it to learn that Brittany knows everything there is to know about cat diseases. She is so a lesbian.

Sue, of course, can't let go of her vendetta against Will and the Glee Club. She's recruited a number of "enemies of Glee": Sandy Ryerson, "defrocked educator and legendary friend of Dorothy," Dustin Goolsby (Cheyenne Jackson), the coach of rival show choir Vocal Adrenaline, and Will's ex, Terri.

Sandy hits on Dustin, who sneers back that he's not gay – a twist I didn't really see coming and, by the way, don't believe. Sandy doesn't much care, saying he's a "predatory gay." I start to have a headache.

Sue dubs her minions the League of Doom, with Sandy as "The Pink Dagger," Terri as "Honey Badger, nature's most ferocious warrior; look it up on YouTube," and Dustin as "Sergeant Handsome." Sue, of course, is General Zod.

Next, we cut to Will and Holly Holliday (Gwyneth Paltrow, back again) having pizza. "I am both awesome and unavailable," Gwyneth tells him, just before she tells him his taffy-selling idea sucks, and the Glee Club needs to have a benefit to raise money.

Will tells the club they're going to do a "Night of Neglect," featuring artists whose work is under-appreciated.

"Like me," sighs Rachel.