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Wynonna Earp S2. E5: It’ll Blow Your Mind

Previously on “Wynonna Earp,” Waverly proved she has a future as a lounge singer, Dolls revealed himself to be part dragon (or something), Doc got a new hat, and Wynonna was possessed by a demon after Demon Waverly kissed her (still ew).

This week’s episode starts with an over the top stereotypical secret order decapitating a demon, who before he dies promises that others will follow him and make the rivers run red with blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say. With him gone, the order head notes that there is one demon left in Purgatory to be purged. I bet it’s Demon Wynonna. Money’s on Demon Wynonna.

The head of the order then suggests they get nachos (flashback to the movie “Django Unchained” when the Ku Klux Klan members are complaining about the eyeholes in their hoods being wrong, because hoods are ridiculous).

Back at the homestead, Demon Wynonna is making the world’s grossest smoothie-including a dead rat-while a tied up Waverly watches and tries her best not to lose dinner, lunch, breakfast, and everything she’s eaten in the last month (which includes the dead spider demon).

Demon Wynonna threatens Waverly with a saw, and the real Wynonna surfaces for a moment to tell Waverly that she’s trying to fight the demon, but it’s too hard. A car horn honks and the demon regains control. It’s Doc, and he has a flashy new ride since the loss of last year’s pink Cadillac. Demon Wynonna tries to distract him from asking about Waverly by flirting badly, while Waverly tries to find a way to warn Doc to beware. Suggestion: spit the rag out of your mouth. Just an idea. Waverly fails, however, and Doc drives off with Demon Wynonna to BBHQ.

They’ve brought the Purgatory Fair 1952 plate from the last episode, which Jeremy promptly licks and determines was not made in 1952 because the paint doesn’t taste like lead. (Serious question here: could you actually do that?) In fact, the paint covers an etching of a griffin over a heraldic shield with axes. Jeremy says it looks familiar, and Demon Wynonna points out it’s the same symbol that can be seen over the volunteer fire department.

Doc suggests they go check it out, but Demon Wynonna, who is on her fifth doughnut or so (this will make sense later), declines. She has “plans.” Doc calls her out on ignoring the importance of the plate. After all, Waverly almost died to retrieve it. As Demon Wynonna acquiesces, Doc notices that probably something is wrong with Wynonna. Red flag #1.

Waverly, who has finally thought to spit out the rag, hears someone come into the house and bluffs that she’s armed. It’s Dolls, who has his gun pulled on her. He believes Waverly is still possessed, remembering when she held him captive in the barn with her spooky black eyes, but Waverly explains, “You’re an hour late and an Earp short. It jumped to Wynonna last night.” Dolls is still suspicious until Waverly starts to remember seeing Dolls held hostage in the barn and cries, which is enough to convince Dolls that she’s not possessed anymore. Because demons apparently are not only sucky at flirting, but also at fake crying and apologies.

At the Sheriff’s office, Nicole is worried because Waverly isn’t responding to her messages. Demon Wynonna decides to be a jerk to boot and suggests that Nicole is being too U-Haul Lesbian. Waverly isn’t the “white picket fence in Purgatory girl” that Nicole wants her to be and Nicole should just let her go.

Nicole, looking like a kicked puppy, tells Demon Wynonna that she’s mean when she drinks in the morning, and she drinks in the morning too often. Once Nicole is out of earshot, Demon Wynonna snarks she hopes Nicole’s Tinder game is solid, which is ridiculous because Purgatory is so small that Tinder would be like, five dudes and a cow. Wynonna surfaces for a moment to tell the demon that Nicole didn’t deserve that treatment, but the demon doesn’t really care about other people’s feelings.

Waverly tells Dolls what it felt like to be possessed. She assumes that Dolls also knows what it feels like to be possessed, but he explains that he’s not actually possessed. That fire breathing thing is just him. Waverly worries what the demon is up to, since it abandoned her for Wynonna after she was successfully able to resist doing whatever it was it wanted her to do. She just can’t remember what that was other than stealing shiny objects. Dolls offers positive encouragement about their ability to fight the demon, just as Luchado materializes with a gun to his head.

At a local diner, Demon Wynonna is having a field day covering pancakes with hot sauce and maple syrup, as well as pouring loads of sugar or powdered creamer in her coffee. Demons have a wicked sweet tooth, didn’t you know? Demon Wynonna tries to distract Doc with a suggestion that they ignore the fire station in favor of sex, but Doc, presumably seeing Red flag #2, prefers they stay focused on the mission.

Luchado and Dolls roll around the Earp house fighting each other and destroying things while Waverly struggles against still being tied to a chair, no doubt also wondering how they’re going to pay for repairs since clearly Black Badge isn’t paying them any sort of salary and Waverly doesn’t work at Doc’s bar.

When she finally frees herself, she fires a shotgun into the ceiling to get their attention (more repairs). Wynonna is possessed and they don’t have time for them to go all UFC on each other, so they can kill each other later.

At the fire station, Doc notices that there is a suspicious excess of medieval-style axes. Demon Wynonna, meanwhile, notices that a lot of other people the demon has possessed died there. The fire station chief/head of the secret order, Ewan, shows up to give Doc and Demon Wynonna an information session about the fire house: it was built on the site of an old church, so the ground is consecrated.

Question: How many spooky old churches are in Purgatory? Rhetorical question. Hissing like an angry cat, Demon Wynonna pulls a steak knife, so Doc diplomatically ushers her out before she can do something even more stupid. As they go, Ewan says to his peers, “Juan Carlo isn’t going to like this.”

Back at the car, Doc shoves Demon Wynonna into the trunk. Wynonna Earp never leaves the house without Peacemaker, but this Wynonna has. Oh, and Wynonna drinks her coffee black. Red flags #3 and 4.

Back at BBHQ, Dolls and Doc muscle Demon Wynonna into confinement, then the Scoobies and Luchado mull what to do. They need Black Badge’s help, but Black Badge isn’t currently answering anyone’s calls from Purgatory. Luchado suggests they get a sample of the original black goo that Waverly touched after Willa died for analysis.

Doc and Waverly head off to get it, while Dolls stays behind to talk with Luchado. Turns out the sample was a ruse to occupy Doc and Waverly, since Luchado and Dolls already know it’s a demon called Mictian (pronounced Mikshun), who has been stalking Dolls since the ever famous “incident in Kabul.” Dolls notes there’s never been a successful demon unbinding, but that’s hardly going to stop them. They need biological samples, and Dolls is ready with some pruning shears.

At the firehouse, the elusive Juan Carlo wants Wynonna kept alive, but Ewan is uninterested. He’s lost too many men trying to stomp Mictian out of Purgatory, and with Wynonna the last one, it’s better safe than sorry. Clearly the title “Earp Heir” means nothing to him. He also asks Juan Carlo about the insignia seal that was exposed and broken, a question Juan Carlo ignores.

At BBHQ, Demon Wynonna is sexually propositioning Dolls in return for freedom. Because as everyone knows, all demons immediately resort to sluttiness to distract their adversaries (see Exhibit A: the original “Ghostbusters” movie). Dolls cuts off Demon Wynonna’s finger instead, knowing she can regenerate it. Luchado wants to bring Demon Wynonna in to Black Badge Headquarters to get back in Black Badge’s good graces, but Dolls would rather shoot her than allow that to happen. Wynonna stays in Purgatory, demon or not.

At the site of Willa’s death, Juan Carlo shows up to helpfully let Doc and Waverly know that the Order took all the demon residue and warn them that the Order intends to kill Wynonna. He suggests that to save Wynonna, they give the Order something it wants even more…but literally disappears before telling them what that might be, which is ridiculous because this episode could have been about half as long if he’d just told them how to defeat Mictian. It’s like when your parents decide that you should struggle at something just so that you learn the value of working hard. Or when Glenda the Good Witch doesn’t tell Dorothy that she could have used the ruby slippers to go home from the beginning.

At BBHQ, Luchado decides that bad guys have more fun and invites Mictian in to possess her. Or she gets siren songed into touching the demon goo the way Waverly did. One of the two. But then things go immediately south and her head blows up. Like, a lot. There was a lot of goo with that. So that escalated quickly. When Doc and Waverly return, Doc has an excellent analogy to describe the carnage they find: “Like that time I put a can of pasta in the microwave.” As Doc and Dolls discuss conducting demon chemistry, Waverly wanders off for a chat with Demon Wynonna.

Talking to Demon Wynonna, Waverly makes a snap decision: only Wynonna can wield the gun that will kill Mictian, but she can’t wield it while possessed, so Mictian is just going to have to go back into Waverly. Waverly presses Peacemaker against the demon’s skin, forcing Mictian to abandon Wynonna and do just that. Demon Waverly departs just as Doc and Dolls arrive, but now Wynonna knows Mictian’s plan: create an army, starting with Waverly. Uh duh, the Order could have told them that, right?

Back at the homestead, the Order is hanging out like the farm team on a stakeout. Ewan gives them a rallying speech about the greater good, and it’s impossible to take them seriously with their bird-beaked masks and monastic-style red robes. It’s 2017; could they really find nothing more modern? Visibility must be awful in those masks, not to mention ventilation.

While they pour gallons of holy water on the barn, Nicole tries to lesbian process inside with Demon Waverly. Waverly’s been emotionally distant lately and also why does she have a machine made of ladles and a martini shaker when a thundersnow is about to hit? Per Wynonna, who has just shown up, the answer is that if Mictian touches the device when lightening hits, the demon will be fused with Waverly’s body forever. Wynonna tries to enter the barn, but is blocked by Ewan.

In the barn, Demon Waverly tells Nicole that Wynonna is possessed by a demon that wants to kill everyone. Nicole, her protective instincts on high and her analytic skills on low, promises to protect Waverly from Wynonna as outside, the Order expresses its intent to kill both Demon Waverly and Wynonna, who they think is still possessed.

In response, Wynonna knocks an Order guy down and drinks his holy water. Could a demon do that, she asks. No, admits Ewan, but the order is still going to have to kill Waverly. Eventually, Doc remembers what the Scoobies have that the Order wants: the Purgatory Fair 1952 plate, which he happens to have in his trunk. The Order caves, but under one condition: only Wynonna can go in the barn, and she’s only got 15 minutes to save Waverly before they go in axes blazing.

Wynonna enters to find Nicole’s gun pointed at her, but she’s quickly able to convince Nicole that Waverly is the one who is possessed after Demon Waverly tells Nicole to shoot Wynonna. Because the real Waverly would never do that, of course. Demon Waverly knocks out Nicole and Wynonna eventually is able to pour the separation elixir down Demon Waverly’s throat. Waverly barfs Mictian out “The Exorcist”-style and Wynonna handily dispatches the tentacle that is Mictian with Peacemaker.

The Order members walk away, briefcase in hand, like it’s not weird at all to be wandering around in hooded robes in the middle of nowhere. Literal middle of nowhere. Unless they parked down the road, they’re going to have to walk for miles in those robes.

 

Wynonna Earp CR: Michelle Faye/Syfy In the barn, Nicole cradles Waverly to her. “I would shoot anyone for you,” Nicole says, in what should be a sweet but is kind of a creepy statement of love. “I would murder another human being for you” is not what I normally get on my Valentine’s Day card, but then again, I don’t live in Purgatory. The two kiss until Wynonna interrupts (Interrupting Wynonna!) and helps Waverly out, leaving Nicole a third wheel. At BBHQ, Dolls has news for Jeremy: Luchado is dead. Jeremy has news of his own: Black Badge is gone. As in, there’s no one left. And as annoying as Black Badge is, that can’t be good news.

Wynonna goes back to the fire house to talk to Ewan and find out where their lanes in the road are, because right now it looks like both of them have the same mandate: protect the Ghost River Triangle from bad things. And also, to rightfully ask where these bozos have been when everything was going down last season: Bobo and his Revenants, Willa trying to open the Hellmouth, etc. Worst. Order. Ever. Ewan suggests-as Juan Carlo suggested to him-that the Order and Wynonna could be allies, but Wynonna’s not interested. And also because are they going to show up with their bird costumes every time to fight crime? The Scoobies have fashion standards to uphold.

The episode ends with a major, major game changer: when Mictian returned to Waverly’s body, it brought a new piece of information. Wait for it…

Wynonna is pregnant. That’s why she ate so many doughnuts!

Please let that baby come out with a mustache and a tiny black cowboy hat!

To read an interview with Melanie Scrofano (Wynonna) and showrunner Emily Andras about Scrofano’s pregnancy, check out this Variety article. I will only note that Wynonna is definitely not the first “superheroine” to be pregnant: “Xena: Warrior Princess” incorporated Lucy Lawless’ pregnancy into the fifth season back in 1999. So here’s looking forward to seeing how “Wynonna Earp” handles a pregnant Wynonna!

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