Previously on “Wynonna Earp,” Wynonna fought a burlap sack genie as part of the Wynonna Earp Demon Detective Agency, apparently we no longer really care about Revanants, and oh yeah, Waverly was holding Dolls hostage in the barn.
This week starts with idyllic scenes of American life in…uh, whatever state Purgatory is. Montana? The camera pans to Demon Waverly wandering around by the barn. Demon Waverly finds Dolls’ dogtags and seems confused. What are these strange hieroglyphics on a chain? She’s also wielding a cross between a steak knife and a bowie knife, and definitely it’s not Thanksgiving turkey time. Something else is going to get carved up.
Demon Waverly’s dastardly plans for Dolls are foiled, however, when Wynonna runs out to find Waverly and the demon part of Waverly recedes. Waverly is left wondering why she’s been sleepwalking out in the cold in only a nightgown. As the two sisters go back in the house, the camera pans to the barn a few yards away, where Dolls is gasping on the ground and calling softly to Wynonna, his eyes burning fire. No, not metaphorically; literally.
In a nameless diner in the Triangle, two bad guys (uh, a bad guy and a bad woman? Bad people?) cut off a Black Badge field marshal’s hand to get the briefcase he’s carrying, proving for the millionth time that handcuffing someone to anything important is just an invitation to get their hand cut off. Does no one watch movies in the Triangle?
At BBHQ, Jeremy and Waverly are Giles and Willowing over the seal. Is it written in Aramaic? Syriac? Assyrian? (Fun fact of the day: Syriac is actually a dialect of Aramaic. Neo-Assyrian is also a modern Aramaic language. All of these languages are still spoken in small parts of the Middle East.) Luchado bursts in to tell them about the theft of the briefcase. She thinks if she can find the thieves, she’ll be reassigned away from Purgatory, the armpit of the world. Give Purgatory a chance, says Waverly brightly, we’re this close to getting a vegetarian restaurant. #Priorities.
Luchado wants Wynonna to come on the Briefcase Rescue Mission, but Wynonna gives it a hard pass, citing the need to continue watching the broken seal like a hawk in case anything comes out and she needs to Falcon Punch it in the face. Waverly volunteers in Wynonna’s place, citing her bendiness, fluency in four languages, and that one time she got hit by a tranqualizer dart and still went to band practice. No really, she said those things. And I mean come on, how can you not view those as extremely useful skills? Surprisingly, Luchado agrees.