Yes, I know, I know – another Dyson-centric episode. I’m going to start calling this show Vacuum Girl. Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. Cyclone Technology Girl? Damn, now she’s an X-Man. Anyway, things have gone from lovey dovey to true lovey dovey fast for Dyson and Bo. So lovey dovey they pose as a married couple to infiltrate an exclusive country club. And Dyson wears pink. Twice. Not that there’s anything wrong with pink on a man. But on a wolf? You decide.
Here’s a question: Is Bo without leather still Bo? This week Our Lady of the Leather Pants trades in her sexy duds for cheery sundresses. Yes, sundresses. And tennis whites. It’s all so disorienting I can’t decide if I like it or not.
FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS!
So I hope you buckled your relationship seatbelts because the Bo-Dyson relationship went from 0 to 60 in less than two episodes. And we’re all a little confused exactly how it got here. I mean, sure, Bo saved wolfie’s life last week. But now they’re just non-stop succuface with each other and it’s leaving everyone around them with whiplash. As Kenzi says, “I can never tell with those two if they’re on or off.” p.s. You’ve got to love the nickname Kenzi gives the Big D this week: Dog Breath. (p.p.s. How cool is Kenzi’s own street name – Meow Meow?) In the end, I think my feelings about the Bo-Dyson relationship shifting into high gear can best be summed up by this Kenziest of Kenzies gestures.
SEXY SUCCUBUS SHENANIGANS
You know, I actually don’t hate Dyson. Granted I’m clearly not on Team Dyson. But I do think he is in many ways an honorable and likeable fellow/canine much of the time. Still what I don’t like is how he is continuing to keep Bo in the dark about a very key, in fact essential, part of her past. And even though he has grown uncomfortable with doing so, he is still guarding Trick’s secret. He is still explicitly breaking the one promise Bo asks of him, which is to have no more secrets between them. Tsk-tsk, little wolf.
While I don’t doubt Dyson’s sincerity when he says to Bo “I don’t want to share you, Bo. I don’t want anyone else’s hands on your body. I don’t want anyone mouth on yours,” I still see it more as territoriality than true love at this point. Though I thought there were some very interesting parallels in their conversation, intentional or not, to many conversations LGBT people have when discussing their sexuality.
Dyson: Because you’re a succubus, Bo. It’s not in your nature to be monogamous.
Though, I have to agree with Saskia, what kind of lame succubus decides to mate for life after one long soak in the tub together?
BADASS BO BADASSERY
Bo, Dyson and Kenzi go undercover to see what is making people disappear off the grounds of an exclusive country club. Turns out, it’s an evil florist of sorts. A nature Fae, who is disguising herself as the club’s chef, is being fed the illegal immigrant help by the club members all Soylent Green-style. As a thank you, she then makes them wealthy and prosperous. Though I think they turned douchey all on their own. But thanks to Bo’s sleuthing and a big can of pesticides, Kenzi is saved from being turned into plant food. Still, just in case, best not to eat your vegetables tonight.
But the even bigger bad this week is the return of Bo’s succubus buddy Saskia. She reemerges and does a lot more than just call out Bo’s lame-o relationship with Dyson. She does something about it – something sucky. As in, she nearly sucks – and possibly a word that rhymes with “sucks” – the life out of Dyson. But Bo shows up just in time to blow some life back into him. Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. Again. Oh well, you know what I mean.
KENZISM OF THE WEEK
Don’t fight it, Kenz. We all want you and Hale to bump naughty bits. Team Kale.
“Hey, this is not a sexy undercover moment. God.”
BOOBS O’CLOCK O’ THE WEEK
See what I was saying about the sundresses? Disorienting, but not bad. Not bad at all.
So, who’s in the mood for a big salad? Also, don’t worry, Lauren will be back next week. I promise.