Gay Girl’s Goggles: “The Good Wife” (3.17) SnapCap — Long Way Home


When Colin Sweeney (Dylan Baker) shows up on The Good Wife, you know something sleazy is going to happen. And Colin definitely met our expectations this week.


Regardless of what I read about queer theory and gender fluidity, one topic never fails to confirm that I am nothing other than pure lesbian: Sperm. I realize that my brief but intense attempts to prove that I was straight left a sour taste in my mouth. But the fact remains that I do not enjoy thinking about the essence of male sexual expression. That made this week’s case difficult to swallow. Our friend Mr. Sweeney was accused of sexual harassment of a female assistant that spawned a Sweeney Junior. And the defense strategy entailed accusations of contraceptive fraud, i.e., that the plaintiff performed oral sex on her boss and somehow secretly transferred his seed into her very fertile garden. 

The only thing remotely gay that happened this week was that two men confessed to having sex in Peter’s office after hours. I guess we’re glad that Peter’s problem with it was not their sexual orientation, but that his couch was sticky. But we need one helluva Sapphic storyline to make up for all of this, um, spunk. 


Although we saw a minimum of Kalinda/Alicia interaction tonight, the ice is melting. The awkwardness between them seems to be gone, at least when they work together. And that makes us very, very happy. Besides, Kalinda is so cute when she gets to help her BFF. 

I think we were supposed to feel some kind of conflicted feelings about Caitlin deciding to quit because she’s pregnant and getting married and she doesn’t want to work any more because she’s in love. Yes, that’s what Alicia did with Peter. But I have been every bit as suspicious of Caitlin as Kalinda has been (“she’s hungry like a piranha”) so buh-bye. (Anna Camp was terrific in this role, btw, so I hope we see her elsewhere soon.)

For Alicia, the timing was such that you’d almost think a scriptwriter dreamed it up. Just as Caitlin was declaring her wish for nothing more than to have a home and family, Alicia learned that she has to move out of her condo and her old house in Highland Park is for sale. As more proof that Julia Margulies deserves all the awards, the scene of Alicia touring her family house was like a master class for thespians. You could see her entire life in that house in the expressions on her face as she went from room to room – the warmth of the kitchen, the disillusionment of the bedroom, the agony and ecstasy of the utility room with Zach and Grace’s growth markers on the wall. And we were right there with her for every nuance.


Two of our favorite women joined the cast for this week’s case. Morena Baccarin played Isobel, the possible thief of the aforementioned Sperm of Sweeney. 

Since Colin apparently was eager to experience Isobel’s oral skills, we can safely assume he had no knowledge of her previous incarnation.

Bebe Neuwirth played Judge Friend, whose ability to display decorum while listening to the spoogey testimony showed definite Supreme Court potential. 

Judge Friend might even be able to bear Justice Clarence Thomas. 

Returning guests included Kate Burton as Attorney Victoria Adler, Ed Herrmann as Lionel Deerfield, and Rene Elise Goldsberry as the justifiably still-pissed Geneva Pine. 


Geneva’s confrontation of Cary led to his telling Peter about his affair with Dana. Peter wants to drop it, which is a very bad idea since his recent actions hint of bias against people of color. To be consistent, he should fire Cary. We’ll see. I have to say, Cary has shown a lot of integrity lately. As much as I dislike him at times, I appreciate that he has learned from his mistakes.

I hope that the possibility of Alicia and the kids returning to their previous house is not a prelude to Peter returning as well. Eli is still pushing for the two to reconcile to help Peter’s campaign. 

What did you think of this week’s episode of The Good Wife? Any predictions for what will happen with Cary? Do you think Alicia is softening to the idea of reconciliation with Peter? Were you surprised to see Caitlin go?

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