You know the sign of a good relationship? When you begin lying to your best friend and/or your partner to keep it going smoothly. And, well, that’s what’s happening with both for Bo and her boytoy Ryan and Lauren and her girlfriend Nadia. Both are keeping significant secrets to keep their relationships going. But look at me being all, “Blah, blah, blah — healthy relationships, blah.” I can practically hear you screaming, “No one wants to process the complex briar patch of emotional honesty right now. You saw Lauren practically naked, right?!” Right, indeed I did. Don’t worry, I’m totally getting to it. No post-coital glowy, sexytimes unbuttonedness escaped me, trust me.
AFTERELLEN BAIT
Um, I mentioned that we get to see Lauren in her unbuttoned shirt, right? And not once, but twice do we get to gaze upon the lovely, lovely that is Zoie Palmer’s exposed torso. And the crime of the week — namely high school students’ brains melting from too much sensory overload — is pretty much what happened to all of the show’s gay lady fans at the sight of so much sexy.
Heck, and we haven’t even mentioned the fact that Bo parades around all episode in a skirt-suit combo that is so tight I think it’s illegal in 12 states. And, while I am 110 percent Team Doccubus, I also have to give Nadia some extra special gay lady points for rocking the hell out of that white tank top.
FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS!
As I mentioned already, it’s interesting to see both Bo and Lauren navigate their separate relationships while trying to keep secrets from the ones they love. Bo can’t tell Kenzi she’s still seeing Dark Faedar, Ryan. Lauren can’t tell Nadia she used to see Bo, and she’s bound to the Ash. And through it all, we still have those Big Lesbian Feelings between Bo and Lauren to sort out. But I’m getting ahead of myself here, clearly.
My other predominant and insistent feeling throughout the episode was why, exactly, does Lauren has a doorway to a dark, muppet dimension in the middle of her living room? Because, seriously, what else can that weird, glowing, fringy thing on her wall be but some portal to a world of strange, fuzzy wonders.
Oh, and raise your hand if you nearly passed out when you realized serious, reserved, intellectual Dr. Lauren Lewis has a navel ring.
DOCCUBUS ACTION
Our little Doccubus hearts leapt out of our chests when Lauren smiled that sly smile at Bo at her door. And then they soared when they gave each other that welcome back hug we’d all been waiting for. And then, well, then they thudded to the ground with Bo’s own deflated exclamation of, “Oh. Hey, Nadia.”
Though I can’t be the only one who read more than necessary into Lauren telling the group, “I’ll drop Nadia off and then I’m all yours.” And then later it’s so clear there are unresolved feelings still bubbling just under the surface between Lauren and Bo. You feel it when Lauren greets Bo in the school hallway with a playful, “Miss, anything I could do for extra credit?” Because Bo’s response — “Lobster dinner. Back rub.” — cuts just a little too close to the bone. Sure, Bo tries to smooth it over with a “our lives are complicated,” but we know only more complications are to come.
Things are only bound to get more so now that Nadia seems to be on the trail of Lauren and the meaning behind her necklace. Oh, ladies, ladies — what a tangled web we weave.
ACTION ACTION
So Bo, Kenzi and Dyson go undercover in a high school as a substitute, a student and a guidance counselor respectively to find out what is making the human students get so smart their brains go kerplewie. And it turns out the culprit is over-bearing Fae parents and rampant teenage hormones. Guess humans and Fae aren’t that different after all, at least in high school. Though, it kind of gives big, dumb lug a whole new meaning.
Bo also spends some succu-face time with the butchy women’s cheerleading coach, who is a bit like Sue Sylvester on steroids — quite literally. Though, as Cher Horowitz would say, was it just me or did she follow in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers and appear to be same-sex oriented? You know, even without Bo’s special love touch.
KENZISM OF THE WEEK
“You did not just insult The Boots.”
BOOBS O’CLOCK O’ THE WEEK
Bo should wear more, shall we say, business attire.
So, ladies, was it good for you? Oh who am I kidding, you’re still staring open-mouthed at the screencap of Dr. Hotpants without any pants on.
