The 2012 Grammys: The winners, the weirdos and the WTFs

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There is much to discuss about last night’s Grammy Awards, but before I start a lot of trash talk, I want to honor the music legend that was Whitney Houston.

I was out for dinner when I got a text with the news and spent the remainder of the night into the early hours trying to find a way to process it. Even typing this out now seems like it shouldn’t be happening. Her talent was immeasurable and it is apparent in the words of her close friends that she was someone who brought light and love into many lives. Many of you probably have specific memories with certain songs. I don’t have a specific memory but hearing just her name reminds me of almost two decades of change in my life and in hers.

I can’t speculate as to what happened but I know that I feel guilty, just like I did when Amy Winehouse passed. Guilty for enjoying some of the spectacle when they were at their lowest lows and crying out for help even while resisting it. This reminds me of the very end of Truman Capote‘s interview/short story, “A Beautiful Child,” with his friend Marilyn Monroe. There’s a helplessness to situations like this that I guess is even making hard for me to write about right now.

So, thank Whitney for the years of great music, for the great ’80s music videos and for giving the U.S. at least one Star Spangled Banner we can brag about.

Moving right along.

So, WTF was that? I can’t be alone in thinking the Grammys seemed to have more highs and lows than an episode of Intervention.  I recognize the fact that the show had to go on and there was no way to change the entire program in a short amount of time, but in what universe does it make sense to follow a video memorializing those who have passed this year with a rave led by a guy who can’t understand why people are still upset about how he beat his girlfriend in the back of a limo on their way to The Grammys a few years ago? People can say it’s a private matter as much as they want to, but how private is it when we all know about it? When do we finally say, “Hey, the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes and oh, hey, he also has anger issues and that isn’t OK?” It’s a disgrace and, really,  anyone arguing that his performance was all that good should then also argue that the Grammys aren’t about music. His performance was like a man-boy sized live-action version of Q-bert — and lip synced.

Chris Brown


Speaking of the “In Memorium” crapola, the throwaway mention of Soul Train‘s Don Cornelius didn’t make up for the omission of punk pioneer Poly Styrene and soul legend Etta James. And while Whitney was certainly in the air last night and I’m not sure how Jennifer Hudson was even able to manage catching her breath while paying tribute, there had to be some way to put something together with more substance. Something that lasted longer than an acceptance speech.

Jennifer Hudson


There was a lot of good to go with the bad, mostly thanks to the faithful followers who kept me company even when Chris Brown performed for the second, incredibly unnecessary, time. The rest of the thanks belongs to Adele for not only giving a stellar performance, but also for being so sweet, gracious and real. The response to Adele’s performance from all over the music world gives me faith that people really are listening and they can spot the real from the fake when given the opportunity.

Adele






Some highlights of the night included:

Kelly Clarkson‘s duet with Jason Aldean. Whenever Kelly Clarkson sings, a lesbian angel gets her wings.

Kelly Clarkson

Bruno Mars gave an exciting James Brown-esque performance early on in the show. Unfortunately, the energy he brought to the Grammy stage didn’t last very long. Since he didn’t take home an award last night, I’d like to give him the runner-up prize of taking Justin Bieber‘s spot for trendy lesbian fashion icon. My hair already does whatever he’s got going on naturally, I just need to find clothes like his made for small children.

Bruno Mars

Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt performed what I thought was a really lovely tribute duet to Etta James.

I’m happy to say more people know about the loveliness that is The Civil Wars after their charming bit as presenters and the short amount of music they were able to play for us.

Paul McCartney was cute and all but, in my opinion, Glen Campbell‘s “Rhinestone Cowboy” performance outshined Bruce Springsteen, The Beach Boys and Sir Paul combined.

Glenn Campbell

The obvious winner of the entire night was our girl Adele, who not only made a clean sweep of all the major awards and each category she was named in, but who also gave a triumphant live performance and showed the world what standing ovation-worthy music sounds like.

Adele

The big “WTF am I watching?” moment came, rather unexpectedly, from Nicki Minaj. I’m not a big fan of horror movies so the second she went all Trainspotting baby crawling on the ceiling on us, I tried to avert my eyes from the craziness on my screen. I feel as though reactions can be best summed up herehere and here.

Nicki Minaj

Apparently someone was passing the wacky tobaccy backstage and we’ve got it on good authority that it was Diplo. Reports that Lil Wayne was arrested on gun charges have since been retracted, so put that in your pipe and smoke it, right Diplo? And according to Billboard.com, super-producer/songwriter Ryan Tedder is hoping to work with Lana Del Rey and Azealia Banks sometime in the near future and was quoted as saying, “I’ve been canceling a lot of more expected writing sessions to do stuff that just freaks me out that I think’s cool. Azealia Banks scares me. Lana Del Rey scares me a little bit. Not in a bad way.” I say, “Yes please!”

Full List of Grammy Winners:

Album of the Year – Adele, 21
Record of the Year – Adele, “Rolling in the Deep”
Song of the Year – Adele, “Rolling in the Deep”
Best New Artist – Bon Iver
Best Pop Solo Performance – Adele, “Someone Like You”
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance – Tony Bennett & Amy Winehouse, “Body and Soul”
Best Pop Instrumental Album – Booker T. Jones, The Road From Memphis
Best Pop Vocal Album – Adele, 21
Best Dance Recording – Skrillex, “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites”
Best Dance/Electronica Album – Skrillex, Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album – Tony Bennett & Various Artists, Duets II
Best Rock Performance – Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance – Foo Fighters, “White Limo”
Best Rock Song – Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Best Rock Album – Foo Fighters, Wasting Light
Best Alternative Music Album – Bon Iver, Bon Iver
Best R&B Performance – Corinne Bailey Rae, “In This Love”
Best Traditional R&B Performance – Cee Lo Green & Melanie Fiona, “Fool For You”
Best R&B Song – “Fool For You” (Performed by Cee Lo Green & Melanie Fiona)
Best R&B Album – Chris Brown, F.A.M.E.
Best Rap Performance – Kanye West & Jay-Z, “Otis”
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration – Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi & Fergie, “All Of The Lights”
Best Rap Song – “All Of The Lights” (Performed by Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi & Fergie)
Best Rap Album – Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Best Country Solo Performance – Taylor Swift, “Mean”
Best Country Duo/Group Performance – The Civil Wars, “Barton Hollow”
Best Country Song – Taylor Swift, “Mean”
Best Country Album – Lady Antebellum, Own The Night
Best Spoken Word Album – Betty White, If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won’t)
Best Comedy Album – Louis C.K., Hilarious
Best Musical Theater AlbumThe Book of Mormon
Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual MediaBoardwalk Empire: Volume 1
Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media – Alexandre Desplat, The King’s Speech
Best Song Written For Visual Media – Tangled, “I See The Light”
Best Historical Album – Paul McCartney, Band On The Run
Best Short Form Music Video – Adele, “Rolling in the Deep”
Best Long Form Music Video – Foo Fighters, Foo Fighters: Back And Forth

Grammy Twit-Pics

Me & my BEAUTIFUL babe @Rihanna at @TheGrammys FLAWLESS! ... on Twitpic

W/ Fergie and her mom! Wow her dress. She's so beautiful! on Twitpic

Weird Al captioned this one, “Can’t believe I just met Skrillex!” Hysterical.

Can’t believe I just met Skrillex! on Twitpic

Best of #RollinInTheTweet
















Once again, thank you to everyone who participated in our Twitter party! This tweet, for me, really ended the night perfectly.

What were some of your favorite moments of the night? What were some of your least favorite moments of the night? And of course, what did you think about the fashion?

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