Gay Girl’s Goggles: “New Girl” SnapCap (1.09) — I Killed Santa!

This TV season has thrown me for such a loop. Things I was sure I was going to love — Pan Am, Terra Nova — have pretty much flopped. Things I was sure I was going to hate — Revenge, 2 Broke Girls — have exceeded all my expectations. And then there’s New Girl, which made me want to punch myself in the head the first few episodes, due in large part to Schmidt. Now I can’t get enough of it, due in large part to Schmidt. Up is down, black is white, Max Greenfield is as cute as Zooey Deschanel. There. I said it.

AFTERELLEN BAIT

The setup for “The 23rd” is Schmidt’s office Christmas party, which is inexplicably attended by all of his roommates, his roommates’ dates, and — wait for it — CeCe! Everybody’s got a conundrum: Paul drops the L-bomb on Jess and she doesn’t reciprocate. Nick’s gotta catch a 4 a.m. flight, which he apparently misses every year. Winston is still out of work. And CeCe is, well, I don’t know what brings CeCe to Schmidt’s party; I only care that she’s there. I am falling for the fellas on this show, but we’ve got to have more Hannah Simone. She’s gorgeous. She’s hilarious. And I’m still a little weirded out about Jess being outnumbered by boys three to one. Plus, I would muuuuch rather see a will they/won’t they between CeCe and Schmidt than Jess and Nick.

FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS

Last week, New Girl did sex — Nerdy Weird Sex That Works for Both of Us (No Returns or XXX-Changes), to be exact — in the most awkwardly wonderful way possible. And this week they did the same with Paul’s love confession. Paul tells Jess he loves the Christmas gift she got him (a plush anatomically correct heart of a 50-year-old non-smoker) because it’s quirky and nerdy, just like her. “I love it, I love it, I love … you.” Feeling: Awww. And Jess’ eyes go wide as the ocean, and she’s all, “Thank you?” Feeling: Ouch. So Paul follows up with, “You are so, so, so … welcome.” Feeling: Yikes. Even their eventual confrontation at Schmidt’s party is hilarious because Nick gets locked on the balcony with them where he coaches Paul through the whole thing: “Come on, man! She just said she wants to slow it down! Slow it down! Don’t break up with her at Christmas!” I’m bummed to see Justin Long leave so soon, but at least he went out in New Girl style.

CUTE OVERLOAD

Boys on roller skates. Sexy Santa. (What is WRONG with me? Damn you, Schmidt!)

And, of course, the closing minutes where the whole gang returned to Candy Cane Lane and were almost arrested for disturbing the peace when they shouted for 10 straight minutes for the people to turn on their lights to cheer up Jess after her breakup.

GIGGLE BOMBS

“Sorry to wake you! This is rude! But make this the Candy Cane Lane or whatever!”

“I killed Santa.”

“I can’t believe he’s even talking to you. He doesn’t like anyone.” “Yeah, I don’t like anyone.” “But we’re working on that.” “She’s working on that.”

“Ohh, a Menora! Judaism, son!”

“My initial thought was to get him a gift certificate for piping hot sex.”

What did you think of “The 23rd”? Where does New Girl rank on your list of new comedies this season?

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