“Glee” writers can’t get their Brittana facts straight

They say a kiss is just a kiss. But what if it was never a kiss in the first place? Two of the new Glee writers inflamed fan fury last night when they tweeted that Brittany and Santana had already kissed. Both Matthew Hodgson and Michael Hitchcock replied to the same fan’s tweet complaining that the show has still not delivered on a kiss between its only established gay girl coupling.


The “kiss” Hodgson and Hitchcock alluded to was the non-kiss between the pairing while in bed together at the start of “Duets,” episode 4, Season 2, which aired Oct. 12, 2010. Though, anyone paying attention would know that while Brittany and Santana talked about sweet lady kisses, their lips never actually touched. I like to call it The Great Neck Nuzzle of 2010.

In case you are the show-don’t-tell kind of person, there is abundant video evidence as well. Good thing they televise this thing for the whole world to see, huh?

But even if you don’t trust my words or your eyes, there is even more irrefutable proof. Show creators Brad Falchuk and Ryan Murphy confirmed that Brittany and Santana haven’t kissed during a red carpet interview at PaleyFest in March this year. (Note: The video misidentifies Brad as Ian Brennan, because apparently no one can get their Glee facts right.)

To quote Falchuk: “They never kissed. Well, they’re in love but they never kissed.” Ruh-roh. Seems some folks perhaps haven’t done their homework before joining the show?

Since tweeting the fan, Hodgson and Hitchcock have both deleted their respective tweets on the matter. Hitchcock tweeted an apology to the same fan, which he also then deleted later. And Hodgson offered a clarification of his tweet to another fan, which he has thus far not deleted.


So that at least shows some acknowledgement of error, if not full contrition. But for a lot of fans, the damage has already been done. This comes on the heels of last week’s big “I Kissed a Girl” episode which featured an intervention outing of Santana by Finn and no actual girls kissing anywhere. The episode angered many queer female fans, myself included, for the condescending tone it took and the consequence-free message it sent about outing. It was also the first episode written by Hodgson.

For a show that prides itself on diversity, the lack of a real onscreen kiss between Santana and Brittany continues to flabbergast and infuriate its many female fans. Because, let’s face it, it’s not like no one ever locks lips on Glee. Other pairings do it all the time. Rachel and Finn. Rachel and Puck. Rachel and Jesse. Quinn and Finn. Quinn and Puck. Quinn and Sam. Kurt and Blaine. Kurt and Karofsky. Kurt and Brittany. Brittany and Artie. Brittany and Sam. Santana and Puck. Santana and Finn. Santana and Sam. Artie and Tina. Tina and Mike. I could go on, and those are just the students. The adults have a whole other lip merry-go-round happening.

And, what makes the lack of a real kiss between Brittany and Santana even more puzzling is that we all know they’ve been having sex together since the first season, when the “Sex is not dating” “If it were Santana and I would be dating” exchange between them was heard around the world. That was way back on Dec. 9, 2009, almost two full years ago and still there has been no on-screen kissing. Granted, Santana wasn’t fully out until last week. But Glee isn’t exclusively shot in the public hallways and classrooms of McKinley High. It has also taken us into the living rooms, bedrooms, hotel rooms and other private places these characters inhabit. So there have been plenty of opportunities to smooch without prying eyes there.

Granted, we’ve had meaningful hugs and pinky links and neck nuzzles and hand holds and body shots and ballot kisses and even a cheek kiss. Plus last night there were 11 glorious seconds of the Brittango. But nothing makes a relationship real like showing and not telling. And nothing tells you two people are in a relationship more simply than a kiss. Yes, a kiss is just a kiss. But no kiss for Brittana is a kiss off to gay female fans. We’re still waiting for our sweet lady kisses, writers. So pucker up, already.

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