When we last left off at Seattle Grace Hospital, Dr. Meredith Grey was in deep water for switching Adele’s placebo drug and messing up Derek’s Alzheimer clinical trial, which caused Derek to walk out on her. Cristina and Owen also went splitsville since Owen wants children and Cristina does not (although she is still pregnant with his baby). April was hired as the new Chief Resident, Teddy chose to stay with her husband, Henry, rather than run off to another country with another man, and Callie and Arizona are finally happy. Now that you’re up to speed, welcome to the two hour premiere of Grey’s Anatomy Season 8!
With a new season comes new interns but we don’t learn any of their names in this episode so I guess they aren’t worth remembering, yet.
AFTERELLEN BAIT (What enticement did the episode use to reel in gay lady viewers?)
Did I mention that Callie and Arizona are happily married? When are lesbians ever happy? We better enjoy this while it lasts. Meanwhile both Meredith and Cristina have been left by their husbands, which will hopefully drive the “soul mates” into each other’s arms. Who am I kidding? They will never become a romantic couple. Although, I think we should start referring to them as Mistina.
FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS! (Did the episode have a lot of feelings or give you a lot of feelings?)
With a lot of cast members come a lot of feelings. Meredith is scared to raise Zola by herself, so Cristina is living with her (and sleeping in her bed.) While Mistina plays mommy and mommy, they endlessly process their breakups. Mistina’s feeling levels are off the chart!
April is overwhelmed with her new job as Chief Resident so she runs around the hospital like a chicken with its head cut off. The Chief fires Meredith, effective immediately. Meredith is scolded for disgracing the hospital by tampering with Adele’s placebo, causing Meredith to have a permanent frowny face. An angry Cristina assaults Alex when she finds out Meredith was fired. (She really roughed him up.) Then Cristina tells her “person,” Meredith, that she needs Meredith to hold her hand since her husband doesn’t understand her. Seriously, how are these two not a couple?
Meredith tells Owen that Cristina hasn’t had the abortion yet, but she really doesn’t want to have a kid just like Meredith’s mother didn’t want to have her. Meredith says, “I was raised by Cristina. My mother was a Cristina.” Wow, Cristina looks good for her age!
A mopey and lonely Alex blames himself for Meredith’s job loss (well, it is kind of his fault). Henry is taken into surgery earlier than expected so Teddy professes her love to him in fear he will die on the operating table. Don’t worry, he’s fine.
Then the social worker shows up, finds out Meredith has been fired and is living apart from Derek and threatens to take Zola away. A fearful Meredith steals Zola from the hospital (although she’s just hides in the stairwell for a few hours). In the end, Zola is taken away by the social worker and Meredith cries while Derek walks off in the other direction.
Owen and Cristina make up and he offers to escort her to get the abortion. Cristina breaks down and wails like a baby (that has been born).
WHORES AND GORE (Was there an excessive amount of bed-hopping and blood? Hopefully not at the same time. )
At Casa de la Mistina, Lexie and Avery are trying to have sex while Zola screams in the other room. At the hospital, Teddy brags that she’s having “earth-shattering sex” with Henry. And then there is an actual shattering of earth (not caused by Henry’s libido). A bickering couple falls into a sinkhole and their car falls on top of them, pinning the woman underneath. Callie and Owen arrive on the scene to coach the man through amputating his wife’s leg so he can free her from the car. As the man hacks through his wife’s leg he takes issue with chopping her up, so Owen is lowered into the sinkhole to finish the amputation. Go teamwork! Meanwhile Alex finds a young boy trapped under the rubble and frees him. Once he’s been dug out, Alex drives a scalpel through both of his arms.
When Henry emerges from surgery, Teddy makes out with him while Bailey looks on from the hallway. Awkward.
MEDICAL MISHAPS (What’s wrong with this hospital?)
Chief resident April messes up the board, causing a mix up with the patients. Bailey almost operates on the wrong person. Oopsy!
While operating, Cristina accidentally injects Alex with epinephrine, causing him to pass out (and almost die).
The Chief takes the fall for Meredith and tells the board that Meredith was covering up for him and he switched Adele’s placebo. The Chief is fired and Meredith gets her job back. But is Meredith still a liability?
What did you think of the two hour premiere? Why is Derek still being such a d–k? Where’s Calzona?