“Degrassi: Now or Never” recap: Week 7

OK, friends, let me tell you a little something about this post: I may or may not have written half of it in all caps and may or may not have had to go back and fix that afterward — it was just that exciting. Or maybe I’d just had too much caffeine?

Regardless, we open on a shot of a motorcycle. See? Exciting! Oh, wait, it’s just a scooter. Still! Wonder who it could belong to.

Fiona is talking with Holly J and Anya about the end of the year – specifically about graduation and prom – and how Fiona’s made her peace with the fact that she’s not graduating. Now all she has to do is find a gorgeous pair of prom-worthy shoes to match her gorgeous pair of prom-worthy friends!

“Oh my God – Charlie,” Fiona suddenly exclaims, spotting the owner of the scooter across the way. “Is that a shoe store?” a befuddled Anya asks, while Fiona tries to prevent Charlie from noticing her.

When her hiding-in-the-middle-of-the-street plan fails, they embark upon the most awkward of interactions involving Fiona faking joy to see Charlie and Charlie inviting Fiona to her art show. When Charlie leaves, Fiona explains to a disapproving Holly J that it’s complicated between them. Good thing Facebook has a relationship option for that.

At school, Holly J tries to get Fiona’s opinion on whether an SUV stretch limo is classy or tacky (um, please have an opinion on this, Fiona, ’cause if you don’t, I totally do), but Fiona’s too distracted by thoughts of Charlie to be bothered by opinions on cars that may or may not be sins against mankind.

The girls have bigger prom issues, however – Anya now has a date, so it’s no longer a girls’ night out. And, oops, Holly J forgot to mention that she already agreed to go with Sav when she thought Fiona would still have Anya. They suggest finding Fiona her own date. “Where?” she asks skeptically. “Lesbianpromdate.com?” (For the record, that domain does actually exist – I checked. Though, sadly, it’s nothing exciting; Degrassi itself bought it.)

Over in the land of Cutest Friendship Ever, Fiona’s come lamenting to Eli for once! She thinks she failed her history final (I guess her mind was wandering too much into the future to focus on the past?), and then she asks Eli to be her date to prom. “Didn’t think I was your type,” he jokes before explaining that he can’t be her friend-date because he already found a way to get into the senior prom.

She rolls her way across the lockers in resignation – like, literally rolls across them. After looking around the hallway as if for someone who might have Imperius-ed her to do that, Eli follows suit, literally rolling across the lockers to her. How are they such cute friends? I can’t handle it, I just can’t.

Fiona admits there is “a certain scooter-riding girl” she’d like to take to prom. I prefer to refer to her as Miss Sketchy Pants. You know, to go with Mr. Tuxedo Pants, of course.

Some undefined time later, Fiona slips into Charlie’s studio to fumble her way into an apology for her actions earlier in the season. Charlie waves her apology off, explaining that she channelled her “heartbreak” into her artwork – Fiona turned out to be the inspiration for her art show!

In other life updates, Charlie is living at home with her mother, which is fine, except that Mr. Tuxedo Pants isn’t allowed to live there. Instead, he’s been living at the studio, by which it would appear she means in that tiny cage, which – OK, fine, perhaps I just got a kitten who is only the cutest thing ever and am more of a sap at the moment, but that’s, like, seriously cruel and unusual punishment.

Fiona jumps at the chance to let Mr. Tuxedo Pants stay with her, for which Charlie is incredibly thankful. “How could I ever repay you?” she asks, and Fiona gets a look in her eye – here’s her opening! She invites Charlie to prom with her, as friends, of course, and Charlie agrees. Or rather, the trade-off of a home for her cat seals the deal for her. Lesbians!

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