If you are acquainted with the Whoniverse, you know about the desperate longing that accompanies the the iconic vworp, vworp, vworp. I’m not talking about the affliction of TARDISlust; I’m talking about a deep, consuming desire to make a Whovian character fall in love with you. But you can’t, can you? Not because the ladies of the Whoniverse are fictional, or because they’re frolicking along through time and space while you’re stuck in this fixed point in time. No, the reason you can’t make a Whovian lass fall in love with you is because they’re never* gay.
But on tomorrow night’s Torchwood: Miracle Day, a Whovian character reveals herself as a lesbian.
(*I realize there have been a few queer ladies in the Whoniverse. We had Madame Vastra and Jenny earlier this season on Doctor Who. And we had Vivian Fay and Amelia Rumford from back in Four’s era in “The Stones of Blood.” Tosh fell in love with a female(ish) alien during Torchwood‘s first season. And, of course, Gwen Cooper made out with that lady sex dust in the pilot episode.)
Before I tell you who it is, let me tell you who it’s not.
It’s not Gwen Cooper, with whom I have been in love since the first moment I saw her red Converse in Torchwood‘s first season. And whatever else you think about Miracle Day, surely you agree that they have written Gwen better than ever. What a complicated badass she has become. Oh, that she would come out (and marry me). Alas, it’s not her.
It’s not Esther Drummond, who started out as an exposition conduit, but has grown into a BAMF.
It’s also not River Song. Yeah, yeah, she’s not on Torchwood, but we’re talking about the ladies of Who whom I want to marry, and I’m never going to miss an opportunity to post a photo of Alex Kingston.
So which Torchwood character is going to reveal herself as a lesbian?
CIA analyst Charlotte Wills. You remember her as Esther’s best friend. And also as the Three Families’ mole within the CIA. Her sexuality doesn’t play a big role in the final two episodes, but it does get a shout out to remind us that the Three Families are living among us, just like regular people.
It’s not much, but it’s nice to know Russell T. Davies is thinking of us. I confess, once I realized she’s a lesbian, I started rooting for her to reform herself. I won’t tell you how that turns out, but I will tell you Charlotte makes one decision that made me gasp out loud.
Are you enjoying Torchwood: Miracle Day? Will you root for Charlotte now that you know she’s gay? And be honest: which Whovian lady do you wish was gay?