“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.06): Mama said there’d be days like this

So, it’s another normal day at Dr. Maura Isles’ house. She is making fresh croissants in the kitchen with Mama Rizzoli while Det. Jane Rizzoli chows down on snacks and watches sports in the living room. I keep forgetting, is this a cop show or a show about an old married couple? Clearly the answer is both.

Mama Rizzoli goes over to scold her daughter for getting crumbs on the couch. Jane whines that she’s just trying to relax. Come on, Mrs. R, your daughter works hard catching bad guys every day so in her off time she just wants her little woman to cook for her while she watches the game. We can discuss the repercussions of applying such strict heteronormative gender roles to same-sex partners some other time.

Maura’s avalanche of domesticity is in preparation for her mom’s visit. A mom who has never visited her house before. Geez, don’t most parents complain about their kids not coming to visit them often enough, not the other way around? Jane tells Maura she shouldn’t be so nervous, it’s her mom not royalty. She’s right, Maura. Royal families typically own far fewer European estates than the Isles family.

The day’s domestic tranquility is interrupted by synchronized phone calls, which our heroines answer in perfect sequence with “Rizzoli” and “Isles.” I wonder if the writers get a bonus when the work the show title in like that. It’s another case, which means they have to leave which makes Maura fret about not having time to order the “organic pig’s trotters,” which in turn horrifies Jane and all the vegan lesbians watching the show. You know who you are.

On the way out Jane gives Maura’s hip a love tap, not unlike the ass slap heard around the world. It’s like Jane has become physically incapable of leaving Maura’s house without making some sort of physical contact with her lady. If this groping escalates in a few weeks, they’ll need to take this show off TNT and onto Skinemax.

And speaking of skin, Maura tells Jane she should change out of her schlubby sports-watching clothes before they leave. Jane says she’ll change in the car, so Maura says she’ll drive. Jane gets all whiny girlfriend and says she hates it when Maura drives, to which Maura replies, “I hate it more when you undress and drive.” This means Maura has seen Jane undress and drive before. No word, however, on whether this undressing and driving moment was quickly followed by parking and moving to the backseat. But I think we all know it was.

Also, for those keeping score at home, our LLBFFs have now undressed/changed/disrobed in front of each other in four out of the six episodes this season so far. But, me, I watch it for the police work. Yep, the police work.

At the scene, Jane has indeed undressed in the car and is back in her standard-issue Det. Rizzoli solid colored V-neck and suit combo. But, wait, what’s this? Is that Dr. Maura Isles wearing one of Jane’s signature V-necks? Dear God, she is. Lesbian Twin Syndrome, activate! 

Seems the Revolutionary War has claimed yet another victim. Our matchy pair examines a dead reenactor’s body. When not dressed up like one of the Minutemen, he was a garbage man. Jane wonders who would want him dead and Maura says, “Perhaps it was someone who didn’t like to recycle.” Yes, Dr. Maura Isles made a funny. Look at how proud she is of herself.

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