Alrighty, peeps! First week of Degrassi: Now or Never down, and boy, if I thought I was short on summer shows before, I’m certainly not anymore.
Let’s start with Princess Fiona, who is standing around in her bedroom, modeling her new swimsuit for herself. She’s looking forward to a spring break vacation complete with long walks on the beach, virgin strawberry daiquiris, and a fling with some girl named Tara or Tisha who will “let her have it” before they “stroll down to a secluded cove for their first kiss.” Wait, what?
Sadly, though, Fiona’s plans are cancelled when a volcano erupts and grounds all flights in and out of the Caribbean. At a loss for how else to spend her spring break, Holly J manages to rope Fiona into joining her for an art class.
They walk in, and Fiona’s gaze immediately lights upon one of the girls in the class, who, as it turns out, is actually the model for the week. Fiona laments to Holly J that she doesn’t know how to tell if this other girl is gay, to which Holly J responds, “I’m sure you have some sort of lesbian-dar thing.” Yep, but we tend to call it gaydar.
Fiona approaches the other girl, Charlie, as she’s getting on her scooter after the class and strikes up a conversation. Charlie, it turns out, is sweet and self-depreciating and could definitely make me ship this pairing.
In her excitement over having Charlie’s attention, Fiona lies about owning multiple scooters. “Another scoot fanatic,” Charlie replies. “We should go riding together sometime!”
Apparently, though, there’s no way Fiona can buy and learn to ride a scooter in time for her scooter-ing date with Charlie. Holly J reasons that the object in question is baby blue – how hard can it be? – which, in my opinion, is pretty flawless logic, but unfortunately for Fiona there are some things called learner’s permits and licenses.
So before class the next day, she comes clean to Charlie about having lied to impress her. “I’m lesbian,” Fiona explains. “It’s a recent revelation, in case you haven’t noticed. Ever since I came out, I haven’t hung out with any non-straight type girls. Women. People like us,” she trails off before quickly amending that last statement with “if you are.”
Charlie confirms that she is gay and acknowledges that “everyone’s got to start somewhere.” Lesbian learner’s permit? Also, thank you, Holly J, for existing. I might have died of second-hand embarrassment during this scene if you hadn’t been there with me.
Seeing Fiona interact with Holly J, though, Charlie is confused and asks if Fiona has a girlfriend, to which Fiona fumblingly responds that Holly J is only her girlfriend in the platonic, non-lesbian sense. Really, Fiona? Didn’t we go over this last season? You’ve had a couple months to come up with another way to refer to your platonic female friends, and you still go with that? Well OK then.