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“All My Children” lesbian recap: Not so fast, straight girl

Longtime All My Children fans know that storyline featured in the opening is very, very important. For once, we wholeheartedly agree.

Methinks I see some tongue. Looks like the Fundies are right: Parks are full of gays sexing it up. Hey, I live less than a block from a park. Be right back.

These two are not exactly jumping each other’s bones. Bianca has been down, um, down the road, I mean, with straight women before. This may be the first time in soap opera history that a character actually has learned from her mistakes.

This is also the first time in all of history that a Katy Perry reference has worked in a non-ironic conversation about kissing girls.

Marissa doesn’t want to hear it. She wants to talk about being tied up in the closet. Go, Marissa.

Reader CanadaGirl pointed out in the forum that whenever Marissa mentions JR she scratches her arm, like he gives her the creepy-crawlies. He’s always had that effect on me, too.

Bianca seeks consolation from the only person who could possibly relate to her love life: Kendall. Erica’s girls have inherited their mom’s talent for falling for the wrong people (although we could make an argument that Erica’s suitors are the ones who fell for the wrong people). I adore the sisters’ relationship.

Marissa, on the other hand, goes to talk to JR’s cousin, Scott, who deduces that Bianca has feelings for Marissa. People see exactly what they want to see, don’t they?

There, there, little Marissa. Scotty will help you feel all better about the horny lesbian coming on to you.

Bianca goes to check on Marissa, who’s having a talk with JR. More accurately, JR is talking. And he is his usual arrogant self — at first.

Dun-dun-DUN!

One thing I find interesting about Marissa is that she keeps saying that she wants Bianca. Not that she is attracted to her or thinks she’s interested in her, but that she wants her. That’s not exactly a subtle way to express feelings – is that how straight people do romance these days? No wonder Bianca is a little scared.

If you can’t watch these clips, non-restricted versions are available on this YouTube channel. You can see full episodes at ABC and Hulu.

What did you think about this episode?

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