Eighteen hopeless New York singles rehabilitated and almost as many near brawls averted within the offices of Wings, Inc., and here we are – the season finale of Setup Squad.
First is Seth, a straight gadget reviewer who admits he only talks about a narrow set of subjects that no one but himself gives a damn about. This is a sign of two things: Asperger’s or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and while he doesn’t seem to have either, signing up to appear on a reality show points to the latter, so the jury is still out on him. Lauretta is assigned to help Seth open up.
Next is Francesca, a straight investigative reporter with looks, brains, and a successful career. While some people take the velvet hammer approach to dating, her approach is more like the iron fist. Jonathan is assigned to soften her approach. Meredith doesn’t look very happy. She wanted to put the velvet glove on the iron fist. Ok, that sounded dirty. Moving along…
Jonathan takes Francesca out to see her in action. After being asked a simple question about where she is from, Francesca responds with a thesis, and when a guy finally manages to get a word in, she proceeds to cross examine him. Awkward. Scary. Mostly scary.
Jonathan and Helen go ice skating, where Helen reveals to Jonathan that feels insecure about her place in the company. She goes as far as to call the environment “toxic,” which is an understatement. More like Chernobyl, the second coming.
Lauretta goes to Seth’s house, where he admits without really admitting it that he had been burned three years ago. He says that it was one of those relationships, where “when you’re done, you want to be single for a while.” That must have been one crazy woman. I wonder if Mr. Gadget had to use his tech savvy to wire his house with surveillance cameras and hide in his bathtub like Will Smith’s character in Legend. Dating ravenous zombies is hazardous to your health.
Jonathan takes Francesca out to pick her brain. She reveals that her ex fiance dumped her two days before their wedding, and then she started having weird dreams about her dad. That’s heavy stuff. I don’t know what’s up with the dad dreams, but Jonathan is quick to point out that she overshares, so that she can ascertain whether she will get rejected now rather than two years down the line.
Lauretta takes Seth to meet girls and he rambles on about wizardry and California being shaped like a C, and the two girls he is talking to look at him like he just flew in from outer space. Perplexingly, he won’t answer questions about himself, even a simple question about where he is from. Is he in the witness protection program?
Helen decides that stirring the pot with Lauretta isn’t enough and she meets up with Meredith, ostensibly because Meredith hasn’t been getting clients either, and Helen feels like they should team up and get each other’s backs. Wait, weren’t you trying to get Meredith fired last week? This show is becoming like Survivor - making unlikely alliances to avoid being voted off the island.
Lauretta takes Seth to meet girls. One girl compliments him on his tie and he stands there like a bump on a log. He reveals nothing about himself, probably because he really is in the witness protection program and either La Cosa Nostra or his ravenous zombie of an ex-girlfriend is hunting him down.
Meredith, unnerved by Helen’s meddling, asks Lauretta whether her position in the company is on shaky ground. Lauretta admits that Renee is worried that Meredith may move to LA, which makes Meredith even more unnerved.
Jonathan takes Francesca to play pool, and she is easygoing while playing pool, but then afterwards she overshares and reveals herself to be on her way to being a crazy cat lady. She puts on her “news anchor” hat and starts reporting the news, except the news is all about her.
Lauretta and Jonathan have a powwow with Renee to discuss team relations, but mostly, it’s Lauretta and Jonathan backing their respective BFFs and throwing the other one under the bus. Lauretta is on team Meredith, and Jonathan is on team Helen. Renee makes an attempt to remain neutral, which displeases Lauretta. “If Renee is not going to address the situation with Helen, I will,” concludes Lauretta. Yep. This is going to go well.
Lauretta calls Helen to discuss business, if “business” means creating an excuse to scream at her. “You’re a manipulative bitch!” she tells Helen, and after trading insults with Lauretta, Helen closes with, “Here’s some good old fashioned English for you – F–K YOU!” That went really well.
Jonathan takes Francesca to a bar, and she manages to keep her conversations short and on point. No one runs away from her, and Jonathan goes home victorious.
Lauretta talks to Seth, and tells him, like Reagan to Gorbachev, to tear down the wall. She takes Seth out again, and he still won’t answer where he’s from. I’m telling you. He’s in the witness protection program. Eventually, though, he comes up with “Washington D.C.” which may or may not be true, but hey, at least he gets a number from a girl, and it’s Lauretta for the win!
It’s the final team meeting of the season, and after Jonathan and Lauretta talk about their successes, Helen announces that she needs time off and leaves. She actually stands up and peaces out. Meredith thinks this is the wrong time to be talking about spending more time in LA, so she makes a wise decision: she says nothing and starts drinking.
And as the team sits around, perplexed and sucking down alcohol, the screen fades to black, concluding Season One of Setup Squad.