What if slash shippers ruled the world?

One of my favorite Comics Alliance features is “Great Comics That Never Happened” and this month, Jess Fink really brought it with a his imaginary comic book, Slashpoint. Why, I’ve been shipping Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy since I was a child. (And Batwoman/Renee Montoya is actually canon!)

The cover made me think about what would happen if DC was ruled by slash shippers, and that made me think about what would happen if air waves were ruled by slash shippers. So, I made a list of Top 10 Couples That Would Actually Be Couples If Slash Shippers Ruled The World. You know, if dreams really did come true.

1) Rachel and Quinn, Glee

If all the slash ships in all the world lined up in a harbor for a race, the SS Faberry would never even make it to the finish line — because it would sink under the weight of everyone on board. And by “everyone on board” I mean “every lesbian in the world.” I Feel Pretty/Unpretty? I think you mean, “I Feel Like Making Out/Immediately.”

2) Rizzoli and Isles, Rizzoli and Isles

Not lesbian partners? Just partner partners? I am so sure. The last time I saw two straight women with this much chemistry was — actually, I’ve never seen two straight women with this much chemistry. Because women with this much chemistry are called lesbians.

3) Glinda and Elphaba, Wicked

We’ve also heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. And in the case of Glinda and Elphaba, that reason is Mrs. and Mrs. Witches of Oz [For Good]. (Bonus lezzer tip: If you think these two are in Big Gay Love in the musical, you should check out Gregory Maguire’s books.)

4) Meredith and Cristina, Grey’s Anatomy

Meredith and Cristina are the most believable/stable couple in the history of Seattle Grace. They don’t cheat on each other, they always support each other, they process their feelings like champs. McGaymos, I’m telling you.

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