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“Glee” Episode 221 Recap: Four Solos and a Funeral

I saw some folks on Twitter saying this was a “filler” episode, by which I believe they meant it didn’t advance the Klaine or Brittana story lines. And it didn’t. In fact, Brittany was barely in it, Blaine wasn’t in it at all, and neither was Dave Karofsky.

And by the way, speaking of people who aren’t there, where the heck is Coach Beiste? We haven’t seen her since “Blame it on the Alcohol,” and after Lord Tubbington, she’s my favorite character on Glee. What’s up with that, Glee powers that be?

But getting back to the “filler” concept, this episode wasn’t filler at all. It was a classic ensemble episode, featuring no one and (almost) everyone. And that was a case of art imitating, well, art, because it was also one of the messages of tonight’s show: New Directions is a group act, not a showcase for any one performer, no matter how talented.

The episode opens with Mr. Schuester introducing Jesse St. James as the new “show choir consultant” to help them get to Nationals.

Finn asks, both for perfectly logical reasons and for weird twisted reasons of his own, how they know he’s not just a spy for Vocal Adrenaline setting them up to do something stupid.

“I don’t think I need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn,” Jesse answers.

Now, see, I’ve been known to disparage Finn from time to time. I may have even suggested he’s not the brightest bulb on the tree. But I really don’t like it when Jesse St. James does it. So back off on Frankenteen, dude. I mean it.

Does he listen to me? Not a bit. When Mr. Schue tells the kids that he wants to do original songs at Nationals, including one group number and one duet, Finn immediately says that he and Rachel should do the duet.

“Finn, I think you should sit this one out,” Jesse smarms. “The fact is, most of the guys are better singers than you are, and even Mike Chang, who can’t sing, can dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.”

I didn’t think I could feel this protective of anyone but Kurt.

Jesse goes on to share the Vocal Adrenaline method, which is to identify your best performer and build the entire performance around them.

They’re going to hold auditions to determine who is the “best performer,” and Finn objects that it’s not their style. Sam turns around and says, “Normally I’d agree, but this is the big time. I think we should listen to Jesse.” Finn looks like his puppy bit him.

Meanwhile, in the dark of night in her office, Sue is “lactating with rage” at Honey Badger, who she tasked with bringing her a computer hacker and who turned up with her Sheets ‘n’ Things staffer Howard Bamboo, ex-Acafalla, from Season One.

Howard asks if he gets a super-villain nickname, and Sue tells him, “Your nickname is Panda Express.”

“But I’m not Chinese,” he says.

She shrugs. “Neither is the food at Panda Express.”

Turns out Sue wants to screw up New Directions’ plane tickets to New York by diverting them to Tripoli, where she expects them to be either killed or kidnapped and killed. Howard manages to break into Mr. Figgins’ email account ([email protected]).

After Sue correctly guesses his password will be 1234, they write to the travel agency (do those still exist?) making the change. I’m ignoring all the reasons why there’s no way this could happen, not because I’m any more willing to accept this stupid “League of Doom” sub-plot than I was last week or the week before, but because of what happens later in the episode with Sue.

But for the moment, Sue is seeming to be even more hateful than usual. Becky Jackson‘s mom approaches Will in the hallway, and says that Sue threw Becky off the Cheerios for no reason, and asks if she can’t be in Glee Club.

Becky absolutely breaks my heart here, and I want to freaking kill Will, because Becky just wants to belong to something, and Will turns her down. You’re giving in to the dark side, aren’t you, Mr. Shue? Jesse’s got your mind poisoned with his “win at all costs” crap.

Will turns his guilt into rage at Sue, storming into the teacher’s lounge saying, “You are a terrible person! Becky was loyal to you. Being in the Cheerios gave her a sense of purpose. And then you just rip it away from her for no reason.”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Will,” Sue says, looking tired and old. “I do have a reason. She reminds me of my sister.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he says. “You love your sister.”

“I do love her, William,” Sue says. “And she died yesterday.”

Oh. God. We get Kurt as prom queen leaked last week, but no one got even a hint out to us that this was coming?

Will is as shocked as I am, and Sue tells him that they used to say people with Down Syndrome didn’t live very long. But when Jean got to 50, Sue began to think they might grow old together. And when she got pneumonia, the doctor told her it wasn’t bad and put her on antibiotics.

Sue was with her at the home where she lived, but Jean told her to go home and get some sleep. And in the middle of the night, she got a call that her sister had died. Oh, Sue.

“I am so sorry, Sue,” Will says. But Sue just tells him to leave her alone.

Rachel has signed up to audition to be the lead at Nationals, as have Kurt, Mercedes and Santana. But Finn hasn’t, and when Rachel confronts him about it, he tells her that Jesse has robbed him of his confidence and he’s not trying out.

“You’re really good, Finn,” Rachel tells him. “You have to believe me.”

He shakes his head. “I’m Lima good, not New York City good.”

Emma is helping Will go through his vests, and we learn he’s going to go to Broadway and appear in April’s show after all, right after Nationals. He tells Emma he expects the show will close within a week and he’ll be right back in Lima, while Emma clearly believes the exact opposite. But Will hasn’t told the Glee Club kids yet, he says; he doesn’t want to distract them from Nationals.

In the next scene, step-brothers Finn and Kurt — both of whom lost a parent — awkwardly come into Coach Sylvester’s office with flowers and a stuffed animal, telling her they’re sorry for her loss.

“Put them over there with the rest,” she says grimly. “There were more arrangements but I had to throw them out; I’m allergic to pansies. And I don’t mean that as a swipe at either of you.”

She asks why they’re trying to comfort her considering she’s made their lives a living hell and enjoyed doing it, and Kurt says it’s because they know what it’s like to lose someone close to them.

Sue wants to know how they can help her, if they have some advice on how to get through it. “Because if was being honest with you, Eddie Munster and Herman Munster,” she says, “I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t go into that nursing home and start sorting through Jean’s things.”

If I was being honest with you, I’d tell you I started crying like a baby here.

Sue says she can’t bear to plan Jean’s funeral, and when Kurt asks if she’s told her mother, she says, “As far as I’m concerned, she said her goodbyes years ago.”

Sue wants Kurt and Finn to tell her why it was Jean’s time and not hers, since “she was the sweetest person I ever met, and I’m probably the meanest.”

The two guys go to the Glee Club, and Finn says, “We need to help her. She’s overwhelmed, and she needs us to help her.”

“Seriously?” says Santana. “I’d like to put the ‘fun’ back in ‘funeral’ as much as the next girl, but why would the Glee Club help Coach Sylvester plan a service?”

It’s not for Sue, Kurt says. It’s for her sister. And Finn says that Jean was just like them, outcasts and underdogs.

Then Jesse, who I can’t even listen to without wanting to rip his heart out and feed it to wild animals while he watches, objects. “Do you know what Vocal Adrenaline is doing right now?” he asks. “They’re in their third week of 24-hour-a-day rehearsals…. Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a performance? They use them as a prop.”

But Finn puts his foot down, and says the club is doing this. And they are.

Later in the hall, Will tells Sue he’s glad she reached out to the Glee Club, but she says she didn’t; they volunteered, and she only agreed on the condition that “Frankenteen and Lady Trousers” helped her sort through Jean’s things.

Then it’s time for auditions for the lead slot at Nationals. Will tells Jesse he’s still not sold on the process, and he doesn’t want any of the kids to feel like losers.

Jesse assures him that’s an essential part of the process. “I took a class at UCLA on judging reality TV shows,” he says. “So I’m totally ready to give feedback that’s both blistering and totally unhelpful.” I still hate him. I still find the way they’ve made him unbelievably stupid to be, well, you know — unbelievable. But that was funny.

First up is Santana, who introduces herself saying, “My name is Santana Lopez, and I’ll be singing Amy Winehouse’s ‘Back to Black.'” And oh, my god. I mean. It would be totally unrealistic to expect me to say anything coherent about this. Unless by coherent you mean, “Oh. My god.” Repeated over and over.

But Jesse, of course, is not impressed, both because he’s a complete idiot and because his sole purpose in doing this is to give the lead to Rachel. He pretends to read his notes to her, even though we — and Mr. Schue — can see he’s got nothing but a cat doodle on his notepad.

He tells Santana she didn’t go deeply enough into the emotions of the song — wrong — and she says she has some feedback for him, too.

Mr. Schue tells her that’s enough, and she just says, “I’m about to go all Lima Heights,” and stalks off stage. I really would have liked to see her rip Jesse St. Stupid into tiny little bits.

Kurt’s up next, and he announces he’ll be singing “Some People” from Gypsy. Now, let me spend a moment on his clothes.

He’s wearing the same awesome pants with skulls on them that he wore last week when he was walking with Dave, paired with a great vest that has an upside down U-shaped cutout in the back. I will pretend I don’t know those pants are by Comme des Garçons Homme Plus and cost $550 retail. He’s also wearing white Doc Martens, a white shirt, and what I think might be a tie with skulls on it? I think I need a bigger television. But I am in love with Kurt’s wardrobe lately.

The song isn’t really my thing, but in the way of the Broadway showstopper, he nailed it. He also did a little tushie-shaking move that got the boys on #kurtrules all excited, and some nice acrobatics of the non-vocal variety at the end of the song. A great performance that Jesse St. Hateful didn’t care for. At all.

“Kurt,” he says, condescendingly. “You do know that song was meant to be sung by a woman, right?”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Kurt says as if Jesse was an idiot, as indeed, he is. “And the Glee Club kind of dealt with that whole ‘boy sings songs that are meant for girls’ thing. It’s kind of old news.”

“Then you must know that song was done to great fanfare by Broadway legends such as Merman, Lupone, Bernadette — those are some awfully big heels to fill, and I’m just not quite sure that you nailed it.”

Kurt gives him a look — you know the look I mean, right? — and slowly, slowly, with his eyes never leaving Jesse’s face until the last moment, he walks off the stage. Jesse is such a loser he doesn’t even know he’s been pwned.

Kurt storms into the choir room and says, “Jesse St. James Jesse St. Sucks. He thinks I shouldn’t be singing girls’ songs. I make my living singing girls’ songs.”

Rachel defends Jesse (oh, Rachel!), and Mercedes rolls her eyes and says they know she’s in love with Jesse. Rachel insists that they shouldn’t make anything out of the fact that she and Jesse had feelings for each other, and then it’s Kurt’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Correction,” he says. “You had feelings for him. He made breakfast on your head.”

Santana tells them not to bother with the whole thing, since she “kicked that song in the balls” and she’s going to win the whole thing.

Mercedes stands up and stalks out of the room, saying, “Don’t bother warming up, Rachel. I’m going to wrap this thing up like a Christmas present.” It’s the night for haughty exits on Glee. I like this trend.

I’m not totally wild about Mercedes’ song, “Try a Little Tenderness.” I agree she slams it home, but it felt somewhat predictable as a performance.

Will loved it. He tells her that it reminded her of the first time she auditioned for Glee Club, and how great she was then but how far she’s come — how far they’ve all come.

Jesse, of course, is having none of it. He says, “You’re not a star. You’re just a girl who can really sing.” He also tells her that she’s lazy, which I believe is code for “fat and black.” I really hate him so very, very much.

So does Mercedes. She grasps the mike stand, and stalks off stage, dragging it. “I hate him,” she hisses at Rachel as she passes her.

How many times have I used the word “stalk” tonight? But there’s really nothing else that can describe it. Seriously.

Rachel sings Barbra Streisand’s “My Man” from Funny Girl. Before she begins, Jesse asks if she’s thinking of anyone in particular when she sings it, and she says no — leaving him looking crushed. And she’s lying, too, because we see inside her mind, and it’s Finn she’s singing to. And at the end of the song, she’s crying.

She’s awesome. She’s astonishing. I’m sorry that I don’t like the song, or even the genre. I suck and I apologize from my heart. But I couldn’t wait for it be over.

When it was, Kurt, who was also crying, whispers to Mercedes, “She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing.” Then he leaps to his feet clapping and shouting, “Bravo!”

Of course, Jesse liked it — what’s not to like, and besides, she could have sung “It Ain’t Easy Being Green” and he’d have said she won. Santana leaps up shouting that the whole thing is rigged, and Mr. Schue reminds them that the decision is his, and he needs a couple of days to make it.

Let me remind everyone the clock is ticking. They’re going to what, write their original songs, arrange them, learn them, and choreograph them, all in a day? Do they still even have a day? I know a bunch of you are going to tell me to relax and suspend disbelief and remind me this is Glee, but it’s really really bugging me.

Meanwhile or the next day or, for all I know, a hundred years in the future (it’s Glee, right?), Kurt and Finn a helping Sue go through Jean’s things. She tells them to throw everything out, saving only one stuffed animal Jean had since she was 6. She tells Kurt to keep the video tape of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. “It was her favorite movie. She watched it at least three times a week.”

Finn doesn’t want to throw everything out, telling Sue there are a lot of memories there.

“I’m not short on memories of my sister,” she tells him. She also tells them that they’re making her feel worse, not better. “So do me a favor and take all this stuff to the dumpster on your way to rehearse whatever treacly ballad you’re planning on using to ruin my sister’s funeral.”

Kurt can’t take it anymore, and bursts out, “Why did you agree to this, then? If you hate us so much, then why are you letting the Glee Club plan the service?”

Sue turns at the door. “I was afraid no one would come. Jean didn’t know a lot of people. I figured with the Glee Club there, at least she’d have a full house.” Jane Lynch is utterly believable and completely brilliant in this episode, and this may be her most powerful moment.

After Sue leaves, Finn stares at the Willy Wonka tape. And when Sue shows up at the service the next day (I’m assuming it’s the next day), she finds that not only is the place full to over-flowing with Jean’s friends from the home where she lived, but the Glee Club has decorated the room with a Willy Wonka theme.

Jean’s minister speaks briefly, then Sue gets up to say a few words. Only she can’t — she’s too choked up. So Will reads them for her, and while they’re beautiful and heartfelt, I found it very strange that he read them.

Then the Glee Club sings “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka, and it’s just right, however “treacly” it may be. And they play video of Sue with her sister, and I cried again, okay? I really did. Even Sue held Will’s hand. And then she whispers, “Thank you.”

Sue’s deep love for Jean teaches Finn one thing: He doesn’t feel that depth of emotion for Quinn. So, in a fit of really awful timing, he breaks up with her right after the funeral.

Quinn at first denies it’s happening, even talking about them being prom queen and king next year, but Finn explodes at her. “Don’t you feel anything any more?”

She starts to cry, and he does his usual flip-flop and says he still loves her, but she just runs off… as Finn gazes at Rachel, passing by in the parking lot. Stay classy, Finn.

Brittany is videoing the announcement of the winner of the auditions, and Jesse says, “Santana, too mean. Kurt, too controversial. Mercedes, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Lazy b-o-n-e-s. The clear winner is Rachel.”

Mr. Schue says he’s not comfortable being taped, and Jesse says he can’t practice being on reality TV without a camera. “It’s like practicing skiing without skis.”

“I’ve totally done that,” Brittany says.

But Mr. Schue insists, and Brittany invites Jesse to come on “Fondue for Two” and judge Lord Tubbington. All I can say is, stay away from the cat, St. James, and I won’t have to hurt you.

It turns out that Mr. Schue isn’t comfortable with the audition process. “You really think picking Rachel means we beat Vocal Adrenaline?” he says.

“It’s in the bag,” Jesse says.

The newly softened Sue makes things up with Becky, and tells her that next year she’ll be captain of the Cheerios. She also hugs her. Inappropriate, perhaps, but beyond sweet.

But we’re not done with the redemption of Sue Sylvester. She goes to Will and says, “In the history of our relationship, I’ve said many things to you. But there’s one thing I’ve never said: good luck. You know, I spent all this time hating you, hating that Glee Club — I do this thing where I sort of alternate which one of those kids I hate the most; right now, it’s the dancing Asian — but after what you did for my sister, I just can’t do it anymore. You have something Jean had, that I do not have: a pure heart. You’re a very good friend, William, and I have not been that to you.”

Sue swears off going after the Glee Club, saying she’s going to run for the United States House of Representatives to help reform health care, and confesses she’s re-routed the Glee Club’s tickets to New York through Libya. Terri shows up out of nowhere and says, “I can explain that.”

Sue gets up and says, “I’m going to leave you two alone, as this just became super-awkward.”

Terri explains that she somehow got the ticket mess fixed and they’ve all got first class tickets to New York — I won’t even bother trying to explain, it made no sense and it didn’t matter. She tells Will she’s moving to Miami, and she hugs him in a way that lets us know she’s not over him, even though he’s clearly over her.

Terri leaves, but not before she sees Will and Emma start walking together — Emma wearing one of Will’s discarded vests. I love me some Emma, but this whole fatalistic thing about Will leaving is kind of pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic, Rachel is in the auditorium to meet Jesse, who flatters himself that she recognized “the masculine sound of his designer boots,” whatever that means. He assures her she’s going to win the lead soloist roll, and he kisses her — just as Finn walks in, a flower in his hand.

Finn looks stricken, and misses that Rachel doesn’t seem all that into Jesse’s kiss. Jesse also assures Rachel once again that he’s doing this to make things up to her and that she’s the only thing in the world more important than fame, but it’s all a load of crap, of course. At least, that’s what I think is going on.

Whatever plan Jesse has, Mr. Schue is derailing at least part of it. Instead of posting Rachel as the winner, he simply puts up a note calling an emergency meeting in the choir room.

When he walks in, Santana says, “Oh, Mr. Schue, thank god you’re here to put these trolls out of their misery! Can you just announce my win so I can get back to teasing the losers?”

Kurt gives her a look. “I heard your performance, Santana. This is mine, and you know it.”

Mr. Schue says this is just the kind of infighting and attitude he wanted to avoid, and Jesse says, “What you call infighting, I call motivation.”

Will says screw it to the “lead performer” concept, and they’ll be going to New York and performing as a group, just like they always have. “We’re a team, and we’re best when we work as one.”

“You’re going to lose,” Jesse says flatly.

“Whatever we do,” Will says, “we’re going to do it together.”

“Actually, Santana, you sounded pretty good,” Kurt says.

“Thanks,” she says. “You guys were all pretty dope, too. Even Rachel.”

“I wish I could sound like you do, Santana,” Rachel says. “How do you get that raspiness?”

“So nice. I smoke cigars,” she tells her.

Time to get to work, Mr. Schue says. “I want two hit songs by the time the wheels touch down at JFK.” Oh, god. They’re going write the songs on the plane. This show is going to kill me.

Finn thanks Quinn for not quitting Glee Club, and she says if she did that, her “big plans” for New York would be ruined.

“What plans?” Finn asks.

“You’ll see,” she says mysteriously.

And that is, as they say, what happened on Glee. Next week: The season finale, New York City, and the Nationals!

And now the wit and wisdom of #gaysharks!

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