“Glee” Episode 220 Recap: You Are the Dancing Queen

If you’d told me
when I was a little dyke that one day there’d be a mega-popular youth audience
show with five, count ‘em five, major queer characters all with their own
powerful storylines, I’d have patted you on the head and done my best to avoid
you from then on.

And yet, here we
have it, with prom dresses, tuxes and corsages. That’s right: This week, Glee
went to the prom.

Jacob Ben-Israel found it all too exciting, especially since
it gave him the chance to ask semi-reformed bad boy Puck, “Where does Lauren
keep your balls?”

When Puck
threatened violence, Jacob just swallowed and squeaked, “I’m not scared; I’ve
been hit by a girl before.”

But Puck’s clearly
thinking. So is Principal Figgins; when his favorite band, Air
Supply,
bails on playing at the prom, Figgins offers New Directions the
$400 he was going to pay them if they’d take the gig. Will is reluctant
at first, because the group needs to practice for Nationals, which are only 3
weeks away, but finally agrees.

Sue, of course, wants none of it, giving as her
reason something about a punch bowl that frankly makes no sense at all.

When Will tells the
Glee Club they’re going to be the prom band, Mercedes isn’t happy at the
news, because she doesn’t have a prom date. Brittany, having split with
Artie and been turned down by a frightened Santana, says she doesn’t
have a date, either. She’s just going to dance with everyone else’s dates. “So
all your dates are my dates,” she says with a happy fist pump.

Mercedes walks out
of the choir room, and Rachel follows her. Mercedes tells Rachel that
even though she talks tough about not needing a man — and in fact, she doesn’t
need one — she still has the prom fantasy of a guy telling her she looks
beautiful and asking her to dance.

Rachel says she
doesn’t have a prom date, either, but she does have a plan. So does Kurt,
who asks Blaine to be his date. They’re holding hands in the sweetest
possible way, too.

Who could possibly
turn down a guy who is wearing a camouflage shirt and a bow tie? But Blaine
hesitates anyway. It turns out that, at his old school, right after he came
out, he’d asked the only other gay guy at school to a dance, after which three
guys “beat the crap out of them.”

We knew Blaine had
been bullied at his old school, but we never knew he’d been the victim of
violence. I know there’s been some talk about Blaine “running away” and not
confronting his bullies, but really, if three guys gang up on you and beat you
badly, what the hell are you supposed to do? Invite them to a meeting of the
Gay-Straight Student Alliance?

Kurt is perfectly
awesome in response. He points out that even if Blaine feels he failed to stand
up to the bullies at his school, now he can stand up to them at Kurt’s. But, he
says, if Blaine’s really not comfortable with going, they can just take in a
movie instead.

“You know I’m crazy
about you,” Blaine says, reaching out for Kurt’s hands again.

“I take it that’s a
‘yes’?” Kurt says, making flirty eyes at Blaine. And of course, it is.

Rachel’s plan turns
out to be a “three way date” — in the non-dirty sense — with her, Mercedes,
and Sam. Sam’s in — in fact, he says he’d be honored. And yes, having
the two biggest divas in the school on your arm is an honor, Sam. Glad you
appreciate it. Also, it was AfterElton editor Dennis who wrote that caption about him needing a
haircut last week; I’m totally loving the hair.

Next we get a prom
dress fashion show with Lauren Zizes and Santana. Kurt’s been brought in as the
ultimate fashion arbiter, which role he performs brilliantly.

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