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Pilot Pirate: The best of the 2011-12 TV season

The broadcast networks (for the most part) have completed casting the key roles in their 80 plus pilots. Production has begun and, for some, already wrapped. Now comes the hard part – waiting to for network executives to screen the contenders, recast, reshoot and decide which of the drama and comedy pilots will land spots on their primetime lineups for the 2011-12 TV season.

Now, after 10 columns covering 20 pilots – plus countless others the Pilot Pirate has read and tossed into the recycling bin – we’ve selected some of the most promising scripts vying for a place on your television come fall. Keep in mind that many of the scripts reviewed were early drafts and could potentially undergo creative changes should they make it to air.

Most Promising Lesbian Character: Iceland (Fox)

Directed by Easy A helmer Will Gluck, Fox’s comedy pilot starring Zach Gilford (Off the Map, Friday Night Lights) has a coming out story we haven’t really seen before as both Rose (Krysta Rodriguez) and Jenn (as yet uncast) realize that they’re gay – and have a chemistry that’s undeniable – puts the “it’s about the connection” explanation front and center. It’s just one of the many heartwarming and comedic elements in the story of a group of friends who come together to take care of Mackenzie (Kerry Bishe) after her husband-to-be passes away.

Worst Use of Lesbians: I Hate That I Love You (NBC)

A straight couple introduces two of its lesbian friends to one another and what results is both instant attraction and a pregnancy. If that sounds cliché, it’s because it is. While it’s fantastic that there’s a pilot that puts lesbians front and center as the main characters, this isn’t the lesbian equivalent of ABC’s Modern Family. There’s cat jokes, Home Depot-type humor and a very Alice Pieszecki-like “all lesbians know each other and have slept with the same people” joke. If it happens to go to series, look for softball humor in Episode 2.

Best of the Scoobys: Ringer (CBS)

Four Buffy the Vampire Slayer alums have pilots in contention: Eliza Dushku (Faith) has her sports comedy; Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn) is in the untitled Peter Knight project about a group of post-college adults entering the workforce for the first time; and Anthony Head (Giles) has Free Agents, the romantic comedy about two co-workers on the rebound. But it’s Buffy herself who, shocker, comes out the winner on the pilot front with Ringer, in which Sarah Michelle Gellar will play twins both of whom are run. The dialogue is sharp perfectly suited for SMG’s dry and sarcastic delivery. As Buffy would say, it’s dark and twisty and just what you’d want for your favorite slayer.

Most Promising Ensemble: Charlie’s Angels (ABC)

Meet your new Charlie’s Angels: Minka Kelly (Friday Night Lights), Rachael Taylor (Grey’s Anatomy) and Annie Ilonzeh (Melrose Place). Not only do the new Angels have the chops for this action-packed script, but they also have the right creative team behind them in Smallville masterminds Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, who know how to navigate and bring out the best from the original source material. The script effectively bridges both the ’70s series as well as the Drew Barrymore films. Plus they cast a young Bosley and you’ll meet Charlie face to face. And did we mention the over-the-top stunts?

Most Likely to Tank With Critics, Women, World: Wonder Woman (NBC)

On paper, you’d look at the casting and be over the moon: Friday Night Lights alum Adrianne Palicki as Wonder Woman; Elizabeth Hurley as her nemesis with lesbian undertones Veronica Cale; and Rent‘s Tracie Thoms as Wonder Woman’s assistant Etta. You’re in, right? But then you hear it’s Ally McBeal and Boston Legal creator David E. Kelley writing the script and not the more fitting Joss Whedon. Then you read rundowns like this and see the porny costume and realize we’d have liked the script better if this were 1994. Wait, no we wouldn’t.

Best Spin on Glee: Playboy (NBC)

Out actress Amber Heard is set to star as a newbie Playboy bunny in this atmospheric ’60s-set musical dramedy for adults. It’s got the style of Mad Men, the mobster appeal of Boardwalk Empire and … live musical acts both at work inside the Playboy Club and at home in the Playboy Mansion, where the talent will likely party into the night alongside The Hef and company. Throw in an excellent lesbian story line and we might have another singing power couple on our hands.

Best Use of Time Travel: Once Upon a Time (ABC)

From Lost writers Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz comes the story of Snow White’s … daughter? In a time-travel story. Jennifer Morrison (How I Met Your Mother) stars as the daughter of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin, Big Love) and Prince Charming only she doesn’t know it until she meets a boy who shows up claiming to be her son who drags her back to a quaint town where fairy tales are real and time has stopped – because of the Evil Witch’s curse. The script is truly fairest of them all.

Best Police Drama: Prime Suspect (NBC)

The Maria Bello starrer may be a remake of the British series starring Helen Mirren, but it’s 100 percent fresh for U.S. audiences. Bello is a woman in a man’s world but doesn’t take it lightly. It’s gritty in all the right ways. Other police pilots: Partners, Poe, Ilene Chaiken‘s Hail Mary, Rookies, the untitled Ed Redlich John Bellucci project, Cooper & Stone, Grimm, S.I.L.A. and the confounding 17th Precinct, whose casting is amazing but whose plot has more going on than Game of Thrones and Lost combined.

Best comedy: Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea (NBC)

Based on Chelsea Handler‘s book of the same name, the adaptation stars That ’70s Show‘s Laura Prepon as a young Chelsea who navigates a circle of friends and family from the Hooters-type bar in which she works. Handler is set to cameo – should the pilot get the series pickup – as Prepon’s pregnant older sister. The script is amazingly funny and will likely test the Standards & Practices Department’s limits with some of its raucous humor and wit. The collection of wierdos is impressive and the dialogue is unlike anything on broadcast TV. Plus Dot Jones playing a lesbian bully in the pilot. Close runner-up: Whitney Cummings‘ comedy project.

Best drama: Pan Am (ABC)

Grab your vintage Pan Am bag and make sure you buckle up after boarding this impressive ride. The ’60s-set soap is Mad Men with a touch of Alias as the so-called night-time soap follows a group of stewardesses as they navigate workplace drama and their complicated personal lives. Christina Ricci stars in her first TV series as Maggie, a stewardess who turns to air travel to escape her beatnik life and see the world so she can effectively change it. Her fellow flight attendants include a spy, a political activist, a macho pilot and a newbie who followed her sister into air travel. There’s romance, intrigue and politics as well as a fantastic potential to tell women’s stories.

For more Pilot Pirate columns, click here. Which of these pilots sounds best to you?

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