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“The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business” recap (18.5): “Don’t Ruin the Basketball Game”

Even if you drive the wrong direction for hours, lose your passports twice, implode and regress to toddler level histrionics, miracles can happen. Somehow, even after last episode’s comedy of errors, the Goths managed to avoid elimination, catch up with the rest of the teams, and jump on the same train back to Kunming, although they were penalized half an hour for catching the wrong flight to China.

Just in case any viewers were jonesing for March Madness on ESPN, the wait for the train was long enough for the Globetrotters, the Cowboys and Kisha and Jen to play a friendly game of basketball as Jaime and Cara practiced their cheers. Zev and Justin arrived and put a damper on the festivities by announcing that the Goths were close behind. “Don’t ruin the basketball game!” someone shouted.

The teams piled into bunk beds on the train back to Kunming. Zev and Justin decided to take the top bunks, because they ascertained that they would be less likely to be murdered if they were higher up. I guess they trusted that the Globetrotters didn’t have homicide on their minds.

As the rest of the teams headed to the Detour challenge at the Golden Horse and Jade Cock Memorial Archway, the Cowboys and Gary and Mallory wandered to a McDonald’s, believing that the clue about arches meant the golden arches of the ubiquitous fast food chain. At least it wasn’t Ron, who would have probably stopped for a Happy Meal.

One of the Detours was “honor the past,” which required teams to order costumed dolls in the order of performers after watching a Tibetan performance, and the other was “embrace the future,” which required teams to carrying a solar water-heating system to the roof of a building and install it. Kent and Vyxsin snapped at each other the entire time, taking over the “most irascible team” title away from Christina and Ron this episode.

Next up — a double U-turn. Ignoring the suggestion from Jaime and Cara to U-Turn the Globetrotters, Kent U-turned the Cheerleaders, saying, “Putting a bullet in the Playboy bunny is the only thing going to save us.” The Cheerleaders were not amused, but before they turned around to complete the second Detour task, they U-turned the Globetrotters.

The Roadblock challenge required teams to assemble a massive 3D model of a dinosaur skeleton.

Gary and Mallory saw the rest of the teams struggling with the skeleton replicas and decided to use their Express Pass to the pit stop. Still, Jet and Cord managed to beat them to the Pit Stop and collect $5000 each. That’s a lot of Happy Meals.

Jaime and Cara were the last two to arrive at the pit stop and they were eliminated. “Things just didn’t go your way,” said Phil.

Next week, something doesn’t go Luke’s way, as the previews show him crying into his tea.

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